stop slut shaming me
I lost my virginity at sixteen to a boy who was just a friend. I was blessed to have friends who where very open minded and accepted that fact. I know from experience that some people would not take that fact so lightly. A friend of one of my friends found out that I had hooked up with that same boy before we had sex and called me a slut. At the time it felt really unfair that I was called a slut for hooking up with one boy. I did something I enjoyed that made me and someone else happy and I get called a slut? Why? Apparently, because I’m a girl and it’s wrong for me to even think about sex let alone have it.
My high school did not have great sexual education and when sex was mentioned it was mostly from a male point of view. I thought to myself: Why is it that we can talk openly about a guy receiving oral sex but the idea of a girl receiving oral sex is too much to handle? And what about sexual intercourse? That act involves two people, so why are we only focusing on the guys? Not to mention masturbation, which is something that’s totally okay for guys to talk about but uncomfortable for girls to ever mention.
I was fed the idea that only shameful girls partake in sexual activates. I was told to wait until I got married to someone I love and then have sex because then it wouldn’t be a sin. The truth is, when I’m having sex, I’m not doing it for my partner — I’m doing it for me. I’m doing it to satisfy my natural urges. Don’t get me wrong, though — I enjoy making my partner enjoy the experience as well. But I had to learn on my own that all the sexual acts that I was taking part in could also give me pleasure.
I should not have to feel ashamed about enjoying sex or wanting to have it. In this day and age, I should be allowed to walk into a drugstore, pick up the pill and a pack of condoms and not get strange stares from the other customers and cashiers. After all, if I’m just trying to be safe and healthy then why am I getting looked at like I have three heads? I shouldn’t be called a slut or a whore because I want to reach an orgasm. If I were a guy, I would be getting high fives for trying to do so, but since I have a vagina I’m considered a sad women who just spreads her legs around town.
Everyone needs to start learning the obvious fact that sex is for both girls and guys. Women should not be shamed into waiting to have sex nor shamed for having it. I am not scared to say I enjoy sex. It has no effect on who I am as a person, so society: stop trying to convince me otherwise.
