My boyfriend and I were in love. I was 21 & he was 32. We planned our baby.
One day I received a call by a guy, who use to work for the company I worked for. I did not even realize he left the company, but when he worked in the same building as I he thought he was quite the lady’s man.
I paid no attention to him because I was in love with my boyfriend and no one knew I was pregnant yet.
I was shocked when he called me to come to his new company for an interview offering to pay me a dollar more an hour. I went home telling my boyfriend.
He said, “Out of all those people in that huge building, he calls you the new girl in the office. He wants your ass.”
I said, “Well, he cannot have it and it the money would help us out so much.”
My boyfriend drove me to the interview.
The guy said to me, “Does he drive you everywhere?”
I replied, “We only have one vehicle right now.”
The truth was he took off work to go with me because he was jealous. I was young and naive’ telling him there was no reason to be jealous.
It turned out he was right. The guy just wanted my ass.
When the interview began, he handed me a small piece of paper with the list of sexual qualification. I told him to fuck off throwing the paper at him.
What a huge mistake that was.
I should have kept that paper going to an attorney because I had a huge lawsuit. Two attorney friends have since told me I would have never had to work again in my life if I would have done so. This was all prior to the Anita Hill sexual harassment scandal.
Within minutes, I was back in the car telling my boyfriend to leave. He said, “That was the quickest interview I ever witnessed.
What did he do or say to you?” I said, “Nothing! The job is not for me. Let’s go!”
He said, “Don’t lie to me I was right. He wanted your ass.”
Then the guy walks out of the building to get in his truck. My boyfriend stormed out of our vehicle slamming the asshole against his truck screaming at him, “What did you do to her?” The guy managed to get in his vehicle flying out of the parking lot. That’s when my boyfriend turned on me.
We were both standing in the parking lot. He started screaming at me calling me a liar. I told him I wasn’t lying to forget about it. He smacked me.
He pushed me
I ran down the railroad tracks
He ran after me
He kicked me
He kept smacking me and pushing me
I told him to stop for the baby’s sake, but he didn’t.
The abuse lasted 8 long hours.
I told him when the baby was old enough I was going to tell him or her about how he abused me when they were in my belly as I begged over and over again for their sake for him to stop.
When we finally arrived home, his sisters who lived with us temporarily, asked us what was wrong?
He said nothing going into our bedroom.
I said, “Tomorrow I am going for an abortion. Last week I just found his heroin supplies and tonight he beat me and I refuse to bring a child into a life of abuse that I lived since birth.”
I then went into the bedroom shutting the door. He was probably pretending he was asleep. I went into the bathroom shutting the door. I fell to the floor crying my eyes out. He had to hear, but did not care.
In hindsight, he abused me because I just found out he was using heroin again.
We moved to AZ from PA for a clean fresh start.
Everything appeared to be perfect for months or so I thought. He was a heroin addict since he was 15 and I thought I could cure him. I now know there is no love that can compete with an addiction.
Still on the floor, I took off my belt wrapping it around my belly trying to abort the baby. I was only 6 weeks pregnant.
I punched my belly
I tightened the belt so hard to the point of passing out
Eventually I laid down in the bed falling asleep hoping I would wake up in the morning with a miscarriage.
When that did not happen, I opened up the phone book looking up abortion clinics.
He asked me in front of his sisters what I was doing. I told him looking to have an abortion. He pleaded and begged for me not to do it professing his love for me and our baby.
I told him, “That’s not what I witnessed last night!” I then walked out the door driving to the abortion clinic.
As soon as I arrived, the picketers surrounded my car. I was only 22. I cried my eyes out. I didn’t go through with it, I changed my mind but I regret not having an abortion.
If this happened now, I would have gotten out of my vehicle, holding my head high, going into that clinic because now I regret not having that abortion as my daughter is a Bully. She dangles my grandchildren over my head like pieces of meat hurting both me and them.
Now we are going back to court for more grandparent rights. She is upset because she moved and I found her new address last Friday. She is in contempt of court AGAIN because she did not give me or the courts notice getting our approval to relocate the children. I really think she was setting me up trying to get me for stalking.
So, she comes over to my vehicle as I am writing down her new address. She tells me to stop stalking her. I told her I am doing what my attorney instructed me to do that being find her new address. She told me I was dead to her. I told her I should have aborted her when I had the chance.
She called me by my first name instead of mom.
I said ouch that hurt calling her by her first name.
I was surprisingly calm. She was not. This was getting good.
Then as she was going into her apartment door she said to me, “Ron said hi.” I said, “Who?” She said, “You know, the brother who you enjoyed fucking when you were little.” Now that hurt more than the abortion would have and thankfully, I had two.
Yes, I would not have my grandchildren but how can you miss something you did not have. Also, if I had another one like her I would be in the loony bin.
I had my tubes tied when I was 30 because I did not ever want any more brats to drive me even more insane that what my childhood did.
I now know when I bled with her on Halloween 1986, I was carrying a spawn. I gave birth to her on 11/3, which was 6 weeks early from my due date. My maiden initials are CK. C=the 3rd letter of the alphabet and K=the 11. Now how eerie is that?
I found a letter when she was about 15 telling her friend she was raped. I confronted her about it. She told me I had no business to read her mail. I told her I had every business. I told her I did not believe she was raped because 1.) She should have told me and 2.) I have found letter of her lies to her friends since she was about 12 that she was pregnant every other week.
Years later, she threw it in my face that I was a horrible mother for not believing she was raped. I felt guilty thinking I was wrong. I no longer feel guilty. A survivor of rape would have NEVER said what she said to me about enjoying being sexually abused by my half-brother when I was just a sweet little 8 year old girl.
All my friends, who were either raped, molested, or know someone agrees. Do you?
This inspirational post was written anonymously. I have full permission to share the story and it is true to the best of my knowledge. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous story please Contact Me.
