I knew something was up. Soph has been following me around since late last week, refusing to say anything but needing to keep close. Eventually she plucks the courage to say something. The voice is stronger, telling her to not seek help, to just do what it wants. So of course she is irritable, sad, out of touch.
She hasn’t been restricting, but this time round is over-eating. I have noticed the weight going on since she got back from Japan. Not bingeing thankfully, but certainly eating when she is not hungry and eating more than she needs. As long as she doesn’t get on a set of scales!
Most of it – to me – seems to be the coming HSC trials and uni choices. Sophie, herself, isn’t sure what is causing the sliding back feeling and just gets damned defensive. We have started the weaning back on the olanzapine but have only done two alternate nights, so it wouldn’t have made a difference as yet. This slipping feeling also started last week. It just means a closer watch while we are trying to wean off the drug.
The positive in this is she told me and she recognises the voice. The other positive is she was able to disobey the voice and ask for help. She seems brighter tonight. But of course I had to tell both kids their beloved older cat has kidney disease and isn’t going to be round for too much longer. I only found out today, and certainly can’t keep this from them. Sophie adores this cat, they have a special relationship. The cat could very easily cause a bigger back slide. More watching. Sometimes I just wish life could go smooth sailing for a chunk of time so Sophie could have a chance to get strong in recovery. Instead we always seem to be hitting large speed bumps.
