Dating Magazine

I Can’t Find a Partner Because I’m Fat

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie
I Can’t Find a Partner Because I’m Fat

Plus Size Model Tess Munster Photo Credit: Google Images


Normally when I write, I don’t write from a specific point of view. There are blogs who specifically cater to a certain demographic such as plus size women, GLBT issues, race, gender; the list goes on and on. I wanted to write material that everyone could relate to whether you’re plus size, skinny, gay, straight, lesbian, etc. Today, I feel the need to write from a plus size woman’s point of view. I’ve been fortunate enough to date and not have people question my weight or tell me that I need to lose weight. In fact, I haven’t heard anyone blatantly call me fat since I was a teenager. If someone did, I would honestly laugh in their face because I’m sure it takes a lot of thought to call a plus size person fat (sarcasm). Needless to say, I still find it amazing when women attempt diets because they think it will help them get a partner quicker or they would somehow be deemed more attractive. There are women who truly believe they can’t find a man because they’re fat. Sorry, but I refuse to believe that!

Luckily, I don’t have body image issues. I will wear what I want, when I want and I don’t have a problem taking off my clothes in front of anybody. I’m not sure where this type of confidence came from but I operate on what you see is what you get mode constantly. This year, I’ve heard countless tales of woe from friends who have dated someone who constantly said something about their weight or when things didn’t work out they attributed the break up to their weight. They often feel as though their partner will leave them for the first skinny woman who comes their way and that they have to work extra hard to keep their partner interested.

In my opinion, these are all myths and problems that result from self esteem issues. Take a look around, there are plenty and I do mean plenty of attractive women of all body types who are single. Plus size women are not the only women who have to deal with jerks and heartbreak. Heartbreak is universal and it does not discriminate. Unfortunately, we live in world where people can pick up on insecurities and use it to their advantage. Once again, being taking advantage of is universal, it does not discriminate. I don’t care if you hold the worlds record for the best body if you allow yourself to be taken advantage of that’s exactly what will happen.

I don’t want people to read this and think that I’m against dieting. I’m not; if dieting makes you feel a sense of accomplishment and make you feel better about yourself then I say go for it. As a friend of mine would say, “do the damn thang”. We should always do what makes us happy and not what makes other people happy. We should not change who we are so that someone else can feel comfortable. How you see yourself is a direct reflection of how others see you. The way you see yourself reflects in all aspects of your life which includes your dating life. It is best to remember that if someone constantly talks about what they deem is a flaw; it’s generally because they’re flawed themselves. Putting other people down is a coping mechanism to feel better about themselves and their own self esteem issues. Nobody regardless of their size should have deal with that shit.

Have you ever been put down by a partner and if so how did you deal with it?

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