Here To Help – Here To Care
Pond Love
Help Aunty Bill!
I am in love with my neighbour’s goldfish pond. It is on two levels and has a nice water feature in the center (a fountain of Elvis doing the splits). I asked my neighbor if I could take the pond out for a fish supper. He slammed the door in my face and last night firebombed my shed.
How can I get him to see that I really love his pond?
Dai, Rhonnda
Aunty Bill Replies;
Hi Dai,
Just when you think everything’s been covered, up you pop!
Water Feature love isn’t as unusual as you might think. A cousin of mine once had a torrid affair with a friend’s garden sprinkler. Only at night though. There was a hose pipe ban at the time,
I’m not surprised you’ve fallen for your neighbour’s water feature.
Demonstrate your love for this pond by embarking on an extensive cleaning, fish feeding and water filtration procedures. A few weeks of intensive pond maintenance should show that your intentions are honourable.
If this fails, then seek revenge for your shed. You will need the following :
A 12″ gauge shot gun
1 gallon of petrol
1 bucket of bleach
Some gloves
I leave the rest to you – you know what you have to do.
TTFN
Aunty Bill
