How to Develop & Practice Self Discipline!

When you set yourself a goal or target the single most important thing is self discipline. Your success or failure is determined by countless factors, many of which lie outside of your control. But there’s nothing we can do about those so it’s best to stop fretting about outside influences and focus on what we can control. Self discipline is defined as the ability to push and motivate yourself in order to achieve a personal goal, to stick to targets without the need for any outside pressure. This can be difficult because most of us have spent a long time in school and then in work where all the motivating forces come from outside of us. In school if we don’t turn up or do our homework we are punished; our grades are affected and we can be held back after class, or even have to pass an entire year again. Clear guidelines with clear rewards and punishments. The same applies to work. Turn up and do a good job and you can look forward to your pay and the possibility of a yearly raise. Get lazy and the money stops coming in. Simple.

The Slump

What we notice then is that during weekends or any time when there is no outside force pushing us, we slump. This is totally understandable, after a hard week, when the pressure is finally off, all we want to do is curl up and relax. There’s nothing technically wrong with this however it does aid in the development of some bad habits. Our relationship with ourselves becomes one of rest and relaxation only, all discipline is delegated to outside forces like jobs and friend and family commitments. What occurs then is that when the job is lost, or the family has broken up, it can be incredibly difficult to mount the required energy, motivation and discipline required to get back on track. When we rely on outside forces for all of our motivation and discipline, it can be really tough when we no longer have them! Imagine using a wheel chair instead of walking for five years. Everything is fine while the wheelchair works, but when it breaks down and we are forced to walk, our legs are weak, atrophied and terribly out of shape.

Exercising Self Discipline

That’s why it’s so important to keep your self-discipline exercised and in shape. Not just for when our outside forces “wheelchair” of work and other obligations fail, but for our own satisfaction and sense of personal achievement. Those who wish to become self employed, start a business, freelance or work primarily in a creative field like writing, art or music need self discipline the most. When you are your own boss it is vital that you can whip your employee into shape when you need to and get the most out of yourself! However even those in school or a job should practice self discipline in order to help themselves reach their personal goals and improve their lives.

The Scale of Difficulty

No matter what your circumstance, you need to set the right goals. Set a goal that is too easy to achieve and you will get no satisfaction, set a goal which is too difficult and you will become frustrated. The sweet spot is right in the middle. When deciding to take up a challenge in order to practice self discipline you must be realistic. Don’t take on too much, nor too little. Try to find a goal or activity that is reasonable for you to achieve given your circumstances, your physique and your personality. Small, achievable goals work much better than one huge goal that is unlikely to actually be met. So remember, when setting yourself a goal don’t believe your own hype. Be realistic. It’s always better to achieve a goal that is a little too easy, then ramp up the difficulty, than it is to fail spectacularly and feel bad about yourself.

Self Discipline Tips:

Here are some tips and guidelines that I have always found useful in matters of goal setting and self discipline:

* Do Something You Like: A lot the time when people set themselves a goal they pick something out of the air. “I’ll lift weights!” have you lifted before? Is your body suited to it? Do you have an interest is the history and culture of weight lifting? If yes, go for it, if no try something that you are already into. “I like birds” great, then why not take a 30 minute walk through the local park and see how many birds you can spot. “I like video games and computers” then why not get a book on coding and try your hand at some simple development. The point is it’s a whole lot easier to motivate yourself when it’s something you normally enjoy. Look at your existing interesting when setting personal goals.

* Make Sure the End Goal Justifies the Work: There will be days when you find it almost impossible to get moving and get motivated. This is where we can use visualization to picture the end result to keep us going. Seeing ourselves with extra cash thanks to additional passive income or freelance work on the side, or seeing ourselves fit and healthy can push us onward. The goal must be powerful enough to justify the sacrifice, otherwise there’s no hope of remaining disciplined.

* It Gets Easier: Starting something new can be very tough, but it gets easier. Don’t imagine that walking an hour every day will be as hard as it was the first ten days, for the next 20! With any kind of practice or routine it gets easier and more natural over time. This includes self-discipline. The more we keep ourselves in line and motivated the easier it becomes! If things become harder over time then you’re body or personality might not be suited to the activity. In that case try something more in line with who you are.

* Keep Your Goals Short Term: The biggest mistake people make is saying something like “I’ll go to the gym twice a week for a year”. It’s just too long. Try going to the gym twice a week for a month. A much easier target to meet and then you can decide at the end of the month if you’d like to try for another! With long terms goals always break them down into smaller, achievable actions.

* Make Room For Life: Life doesn’t simply stop to allow you to pursue your dreams, nope, it rolls on regardless. So don’t get down on yourself if you need to limit or change your self-discipline routines because things have come up. Things will come up, know this from the start and you won’t be disturbed when they happen. And don’t try to catch up. Missed your 30 minute walk on Monday? Don’t walk for an hour on Tuesday to “catch up”, this produces stress, and when your goal is associated with too much stress it’s not fun or satisfying anymore and you may well simply give up.

* Don’t Wallow: Speaking of which, if you do give up or fail to meet your target, do not beat yourself up or wallow is self pity. Look back at what you’ve achieved and use that example to start yourself on your next goal. Learn from your experience and set your targets more reasonably and realistically.

As a musician, writer and music producer I’ve had to develop my self-discipline to a high degree. With no one there cracking the whip I’ve had to crack it myself. What I found though is that thanks to this it’s pretty easy to set just about any target and, providing the world does its part, to achieve it.

Your goals are achievable, you just need to be realistic and patient, and you must develop your self discipline. I’ll be posting again on self discipline on Thursday. It’s a big topic and deserves plenty of time and attentions.

Thanks for reading

All the best!

Rohan.

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• 21 Days To A More Disciplined Life Challenge
• Longevity of Life

Rohan Healy is the author of “Greeks to Geeks: Practical Stoicism in the 21st Century”, “The 7 Things That Made Me Genuinely & Irreversibly Happy: And How They Can Do The Same For You” and Sci Fi Action/Adventure novel Gyaros: The Mice Eat Iron!

Click the book titles to visit their Amazon pages, read the reviews, and sample or purchase the books.