Diaries Magazine

How to Communicate with Your Kids on Their Level. Or Slightly Beneath Their Level. Whatever, Yo

By Parentalparody @parental_parody

How to communicate with your kids on their level. Or slightly beneath their level. Whatever, yo

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#1Nana has a long whined about her disdain for how I address and speak to my beloved children. She seems to think it's not entirely normal / appropriate / mature / motherly to refer to them collectively as "Dudes". As in... "Hey Dudes!  Wassup?"
"Yo, Dudes! Stop licking each other or imma go all Britney on you!" And the like. She also takes issue with my vocabulary. Not the 'shed words' because, duh, everyone knows you shouldn't swear around your kids. #1Nana isn't keen on my inner 14 year old skater dude coming to the fore while parenting. As in...

My inner 14 year old skater dude:  "Sup" 
Her more appropriate preference:  "Hello" My inner 14 year old skater dude:  "Wassup yo yo's?" 
Her more appropriate preference:  "Hello darlings, how was school?" My inner 14 year old skater dude: "Fo shizzle"
Her more appropriate preference: "Yes, I really mean it."

My inner 14 year old skater dude: "Word"
Her more appropriate preference: "Yes"
My inner 14 year old skater dude: "Peace out Homey's"
Her more appropriate preference: "Goodnight, sweet dreams". Look, there is very little I can offer The Feral Threesome by way of life skills, co-ordination, brains, common sense. What I can equip them with is street cred. All I know is that my kids will one day thank me for making them fit in and be cool, not for referring to them as darlings, or disciplining them with more parental phrase choices, or teaming my goodnight hugs and kisses with more traditionally maternal wording. If my lingo is still current by the time they themselves are 14 year olds. If not, then they are well and truly screwed, yo.

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