Life Coach Magazine

How to Be Yourself-Self Help-Lesson #12

By Whyjournal

How to be yourself - Why it is important to be yourself.

(View my how to and why journal page)

How to be Yourself-Self Help-Lesson #12 This lesson goes hand in hand with lesson #11 - Having confidence. If you read that post, you would have read about feeling confident on the inside to show confidence on the outside, but this will go a little deeper. 
I believe that many of us just want to be accepted. We figure that if we act or behave a certain way then we will attract certain people. While this is true, if you study the behavior of a person and try to change yourself to be accepted by this person or group of people you will often find yourself unhappy in the end. 
I have a young child and she sometimes will watch movies about teenagers that are trying to fit in and be accepted by the "popular" group. The teenager will try and try to befriend this group and find that once they do, they are not happy at all. They will go through all the trouble to wear things they normally would not, go places they normally would not go, do things they normally would not do. But in the end they find that they really have nothing in common with these people after all. It usually turns out that he/she will go back to the friends they had. The ones who always stood by them and shared the same goals and dreams as they did.
The moral of my story is that while we should always try to work on ourselves to be the best that we can be, we should also be true to ourselves. Life is not about being in the "popular" group, especially if that group is not going to make you happy. Life is about being around people who you love and who love you back no matter what. 
Sometimes we tend to think that other people have it so much better than we do. We want what they have. But do we really? We have no clue on what goes on with other people on the inside or at home or in a relationship. We need to learn how to accept ourselves and be who we are. 
If we were all the same, if we were all friends, then there would not be any "special" relationships in the world. It would be so boring if everybody liked the same things. That is why we are so special. We are different.
So how can we be ourselves?
  1. Learn to accept what you cannot change. We all have aspect of ourselves that we wish we could change, but we just cant. You might have a bump in the middle of your nose that you hate, but that bump does not change who you are on the inside. Once you start to accept your flaws then that will shine through and your confidence will grow.
  2. Do not do things that make you uncomfortable. Yes it is a good idea to explore and try new things. But if you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel uneasy, get out right away! Changing your morals or doing things that you normally would not do is extremely unhealthy. But...
  3. Try something new. Do something that you have always wanted to but maybe never had the opportunity to do. We will grow if we learn more about ourselves and it will bring us more joy.
  4. Find friends who you have things in common with. Go to places or join groups with people who share the same interests with you. Finding people in which it is easy to talk to and to be yourself around will make you happy.
  5. Do not lie or try to make yourself look more successful than you really are. I think that when we meet new people that it is important that we show the "real" us for a number of reasons. For one if you lie then you have to remember your lie and your lie will have to continue to grow. Second,   you want a person to like you for who you are. NOT for who you wish to be. If somebody does not like you for who you are, then it is better off not to be friends or in a relationship with that person anyway. Your true self will have to come out eventually. Then what will happen?
Remember that being in a relationship, romantic or not the whole purpose is to find a person who will be there for us through all. They will love us for who we are on the inside. If you want real long lasting relationships then your best bet is to be yourself. Show your true colors. The things we might find to be awkward about ourselves might just be the thing somebody else really loves. It is great to be unique. It makes us who we are. So be yourself and love yourself! Happiness will follow.
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