Heaven Showed Below My Feet; Tricky Clouds a Poem by Kelly Sowell.

1of 3Created on: July 26, 2010   Last Updated: July 27, 2010Once upon a time I was dead without a dream.Before I was a baby I an angels face loomed Heaven glow surrounded thee.Myself and I had never existed into the brunts of fear and curses pain and rot.Before I came here I did not have to live in a world that didn’t want me around.Before, when I was dead.
Before I was a baby I was fearful of the tricky clouds.Before they sifted the view below my feet a barrier of separate privileged and below no one thought free. 
Their fluffy white exterior did not match their message of what we know as comfort twisted symbols of hues not misting eyes of what is all dirty. A place closer to hell, and nothing like my Heaven.
The blue sky a thousand miles below my floating feet piercing my temples with the constraints. Pain climbed up my free and under my slowly crinkling covering. No soul can survive flesh meant to perish in Heaven no one watched famine survive as if they were already to die. 

Was clear but not warm with love and safety.It read defeat and beamed with meek uncertainty.The day it was my turn to leave my Heaven, my safe abodeI stood in line shaking before the fall to my hurtful earth.The tearing pain I felt entering this world, to me was not beauty.It was  a reminder of my Heaven no longer constantly surrounding me.

I didn’t cry as a new infant because I was scared, and couldn’t recognize my surroundingsI cried pleading with God to let me go home.My goals were given backwards, Heaven then Earth.And of course the future unknown.I was branded and changed forever.As still as a rock, and as hard as a stone.

I cried as a baby and screamed with my new disadvantages.I was like a dying baby bird getting sucked out of its branches.I didn’t cry because this was new or no one loved me.I cried because now my true world and home was far  above me.Years later I am still crying.

I still want to go home; I want to feel freeI don’t want to lose myself from the Heaven I once knew.I am damaged beyond belief A Heaven I am still yet to know I wish there was some way to see it yet again.

The comfort of being yourself without theskin .

I wish I didn’t feel pain against my aching heart.

Or my bleeding on my skin I wish I didn’t feel love and the pain that comes along with it I wish I wasn’t bitter I wish I could see A way to get to Heaven without doing the one thing That would bring me farther from it.

When I was dead, before I was a baby.I lived in Heaven I had no name.I had no hurt, love, or pain.I had no worries.I had no life.I was happy in Heaven.Now all I do is fight.by Kelly Sowell