Love & Sex Magazine

He Cheated: Now What?

By Kelly Speechless @KellySpeechless
The Cheater's Checklist.
He Cheated: Now What? If you found out your other half has cheated on you, and your willing to try and work things out; good luck. This can be done, but only if the person who cheated works everyday to make you feel safe, secure and only half paranoid/crazy. Here is a cheater checklist of what the cheater should abide by until you feel otherwise (forever).
CHEATER CHECKLIST- This list will allow me one more shot with the person I claim to love. I am lucky she even spoke to me after what I have done, so filling out this list might be annoying or an invasion of my personal space; but unfortunately due to own  actions I have lost my privileges. 
  1.  Look around your house. Learn to love it because your going to be there awhile-You can't follow the same routine and go to the same places you used to frequent while away from your partner. There is no need to explain why. 
  2. Phone Access Expanded-Report a monthly copy of your cell phone records to your girlfriend in an envelope. Before when your partner trusted you, your phone and who is in it was personal. Not anymore until further notice. Remember, this is what will allow you to keep her.
  3. Let Her Rip-Even if you work hard she is going to have an outburst once in a while. Not because she wants to dig things up or torture you. Your partner would be doing this because he/she has a pulse and needs to purge some vent up confusion and frustration attached to your mess. As long as your partner doesn't accompany weapons or poison into the tantrum, let them have at it. 
  4. After a while if things don't start to pick up a little, or your partner has eliminated sex to punish you it's time to see a counselor. If your partner takes you back they can't deny sex from you because that will only disconnect the relationship further. If time goes by and this is still an issue it's counselor or quit. 
  5. Future reference: Be honest with yourself. If this is you and you are just the kind of person who is happier with more than one person, by all means do so! Just date people who are in the same boat and want the same thing! I know they might be harder to find but not any harder than repeating this list right? Also, if you truly believe the lack of sex in your relationship contributed to your mess (no excuse) then you need to date someone who wants what you do sexually. If the person your dating isn't that interested in sex, then that is a red flag. Lastly, if you think you still love the person you hurt and you know deep down your going to do this again: Love them enough to let them go. 

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