1970
Man has conquered the Moon but still relies on the comb over to hide a thinning bonce. Sideburns flourish alongside clogs and bigotry.
Led Zeppelin are in their caterwauling pomp, warbling nonsense about dribbling lemons and hobgoblins on chair lifts.
Tooth decay is a sign of manliness.
But the greatest moment of 1970?
Brasil side led by the incomparable Pele, play defending champions England.
Jairzinho is set free on the right. He skins Cooper and delivers the perfect cross into the penalty area.
Pele, like a great big Brazilian Trout, leaps and heads the pork pie, like a great big pork pie missile. A certain goal.
BUT two words these Samba Surrealists hadn’t considered.
Gordon Banks.
The great English ‘keeper leaps like a great big English Trout and turns the pork pie over the bar for a corner kick.
The world is astonished. Pele is admonished. Banks is famished and eats the pie for his tea. “Lovely bit o’ pie that, shame no pickle to go with it though,” were his words afterwards.
To this day when I eat a pork pie, I doff a metaphorical titfer towards “Banksy” before doing so.
England Today?
