Image credit: ShutterstockI thought by now I should have gotten used to saying goodbye to my husband whenever he travels out of the country, or that it should at least become easier after repeating the same ordeal every month for the past twelve months. Turns out, saying the dreaded word doesn't get any easier. In fact, goodbye seems to still be the hardest word, for me to say to my husband at the airport.
Today was a lot harder because not only my husband was leaving, my dear mother-in-law was too. I never had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with her since the beginning of my marriage, but she is a nice person to be around with. Knowing that she's had a good break from her usual routine back in Malaysia while staying with me here and helping me look after Little Miss NAPB, it's hard not to miss her. It also didn't help that Little Missy was beginning to get used to having family members in our small little shoebox of an apartment. I broke down as I sat next to my husband waiting to go into the departure gate. I couldn't help myself as tears kept on streaming down my cheeks. Poor hubby was trying to make me smile by saying he'll be back in a blink of an eye, and I said, "if there was a day where I feel happy that you're going away, you should really really worry." LOL. And just like that, he made me smile despite me still feeling pretty down on the insides.
Little Miss NAPB did pretty well coping with the goodbyes, I think. She only fussed for five minutes after daddy and Nai Nai (grandma) waved goodbye to her at the departure gate, where she kept on pointing at the gate and repeatedly whispered, "Daddy? Nai Nai?" It was a heartbreaking moment to see her constantly have to witness sending her loved ones off at the airport, but I guess it's inevitable until Daddy is able to come over on a more permanent basis, which is soon. Yay!
To be honest, I love my life here in Australia. So many of my dreams have come true, or are in the process of coming true. In a few years, I hope to even call Australia home, like literally HOME. However, there's a part of me that will always be yearning to go back to Malaysia, and it's mainly because of my husband is always traveling back and forth the two countries for business purposes. If I had a chance, I'd go wherever my husband is. After all, home is where the heart is, and my heart belongs to my husband, so wherever he is, that's where I want to be. It may be goodbye for now, but I know he's coming back soon and then it will be a happy few weeks before I will need to say it again. Gosh, it really really is, the hardest word.
