It’s amazing how every week I have everything mapped out as to what I want to blog about for the week. All of a sudden another topic hits me and I end up writing about something totally different. It hits me mostly during my commute to work and then I have no choice but to pull out my phone and type out what’s in my head. I actually like that because I’ve never been a stick to plan type of girl and I believe that if something hits me it’s for a reason. This morning the topic of long distance relationships hit me so once again the universe has taken me off my desired plan and given me a new one.
I have indeed dated long distance before and I’m not going to sit here and sugarcoat it and make it seem like its all peaches and cream. Dating someone long distance is hard as hell, you can’t see the person when you want, you can’t steal a kiss or hug when you want, you have no clue as to what they’re doing, and the fact that sometimes you just want to be held by that person and you can’t will really mess with you. Last but not least, sex when you want it is out of the question, phone sex will only go so far. Your cell phone bill increases, somebody has to pay for airfare, a bus ticket, gas, a trolley, a horse or some form of transportation to get back and forth. I use to fly out on a Thursday night and then take the first plane out on Monday morning which was normally at 6am and then go to work exhausted. I can’t say I regret doing any of this because honestly sometimes you find people in an unexpected way in unexpected places. If you can survive being states apart from each other and maintain a bond and a commitment to make it work, its well worth it. Sometimes love finds you and it not always where you expect it and who you expect it with. People don’t have to live in the same state to fall in love nor do they have to see each other every day.
When you deal with anyone, it’s important to know exactly who you’re dealing with. This goes triple for dating someone long distance. You have to make sure that your wants and needs align, the last thing you want to do is waste your time, energy, money, vacation days, and emotions on someone and you end up being a FWB (friends with benefits) its soooooo not worth it. You can find that shit in your hometown for free and you won’t waste a damn thing but your time and well maybe your energy (winks) in most cases. Once you’ve establish that you’re on the same page then you can truly think about how to map out a plan of action to see each other. If you can keep this up for a year, it’s now time for someone to relocate. Some people relocate and get their own place and others move in with the person. Honestly, if you’re in a position where you can take a leave of absence from your job, work from home, and maintain your place in your hometown that works even better. It gives you a security blanket should you feel the need to return home. If dating hasn’t taught me anything else, it’s taught me that people will do a 360 on your ass; you lay down with Steve and wake up with Ray, you lay down with Alice and wake up with Alison, and in some cases you lay down with Steve and wake up with Alison, who the hell knows? My point is you truly don’t know someone until you’ve lived with them. You need to prepare for it to work out or not work out. Now if you’re not in a position to do any of the above, you will really have to throw caution to the wind and follow your heart and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I believe long distance relationships can work out but there’s a time limit as to how long it will work. You can’t date someone that’s hundreds of miles away and then expect for the romantic relationship too remain intact years later. At some point, somebody will have to bust a move, meaning somebody will have to pack all their shit and move for love. This normally has to take place within 6 months to a year. It can work if 2 people are on the same page and have decided that this is what they want to do. The bottom line is, if it’s meant to work out no matter how many miles are between you, no matter what people think about it, or what your fears are the universe will find away to bring you together and for love it’s well worth it ♥
If someone sweeps me off my feet I’m packing my shoes and purses and I’m outta here! As they say, true love is never easy!
