Lifestyle Magazine

Giving and Accepting Compliments

By Sherylb @unboreddiva

I can’t remember when I had ever held out from complimenting anyone for their nice appearance or a job well done. For me, giving compliments is equal to thanking a person for bringing beauty and order to my life. I know how it feels to be thanked, and I like people to have that same feeling so I am never stingy with compliments.

I remember one particular morning before we went to work when my then housemate emerged from her room looking especially radiant and I was genuinely taken aback by her glow. I immediately told her, “wow, you are very pretty looking like that!”. She looked so surprised that someone had paid her that kind of compliment, but I could tell that what I had said had brightened up her day. She was all smiles and was especially cheerful the rest of the day.

When our helper first came to work for us, she wasn’t an experienced cook yet cooking was one of her tasks. Maybe because her father was a cook and the talent was in her genes, but her dishes were really good. I, of course, praised her a lot for it. The compliments must have really boosted her confidence because she started to call and ask her family for tips on cooking and began scribbling down recipes from cookbooks she had found around the house. Oftentimes, she would ask me if she could try a dish that she had read about and I’d encourage her even if I had never heard of it. I loved her enthusiasm.

Praising someone is such an easy thing to do yet I wonder why some people find it so hard to pay a compliment. Woman to woman especially. One colleague of mine was notorious for this. Everybody else was telling another coworker, who had never had anything done to her hair previously, how beautiful she looked in her new haircut (and she really did!), yet this girl didn’t say anything even if she heard the praises. She would look away as if she did not hear a thing. We thought that she was like that only to that particular girl, but we noticed that she behaved that way with everyone else. Well, with every other girl, that is.

And it’s not just in giving compliments that I find people have a hard time with, but it’s in receiving them as well. I personally love being complimented! Who doesn’t? Sometimes I know it’s BS especially if the person needs something from me (hehehe), but it still feels good to be told, “your dress looks gorgeous!” or “you’re looking sexy today!” There’s nothing like a few kind words to perk someone up. And what do I say back? I say thanks! Yet I wonder why girls can’t acknowledge praise properly. I’ve heard lots of women say, “no, I’m not, you’re just blind today”. False humility? A friend of mine told me that she can’t say thank you when she receives a compliment because she doesn’t want to give out the proud vibe. What?! It’s not like you fished for it. It was given freely to you, and the most polite thing to do is express your thanks. And what is shameful about being proud? You are a confident woman, and that must be the reason you’re being admired. Be grateful and show it!

And when someone deserves it, pay her a compliment too! Pay it forward as they say. The world will be a better place if women are less envious and more accepting, less critical and more giving.

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