Aunty Bill
Dear Aunty,
Three weeks ago I met a really great guy. He is honest, sincere, satisfying and great with kids. Last week he asked me to move in with him. I went round his house and it was lovely. Roof, walls, doors the whole kit and keboodle. My only problem is that he has only a right hand side (his left being lost during a re-enactment of Pa Walton’s lumber yard at a Walton’s Fanclub meeting in 1986). Do you think I will be able to support him in years to come?
Lavinia, Sawbridgeworth
Aunty Bill Replies;
Dear Lavinia,
Glad you’ve found love albeit with a guy who is half the man he used to be, but don’t despair and cast him to one side (it’d have to his right hand side I guess).
This condition is not as uncommon as you think, some famous people have overcome this handicap, Yuri Gagarin being perhaps the best known. His lack of side helped him get into the spaceship.
Construct scaffolding from bamboo canes to support his missing side. No point in going out for a good time only to find him on a heap on the floor when you get home is there?
Most people in the UK are right handed (ONS statistics 2010) and therefore he should have no trouble in carrying out simple day to day tasks i.e. making toast, going to the lavatory or cleaning the car (but remember the scaffolding for any outdoor tasks).
Right on!
Aunty Bill
