Heads Up
Dear Oily
My man left me for another woman. I have an amazing figure but sadly lack a head at the moment. Would you like to go out with me? Have you got a spare head you can send me?
Penelope, Bridport
Oily Replies,
Penny you need to stop looking at the negatives. Everyone has their cross to bare. Look at the following list of well known X Factor celebrities. All are/were missing something:
Admiral Nelson – Arm and eye
Van Gogh – Ear
David Beckham – Brain
Kelly Osborne – Talent
Simon Cowell – Conscience
Stephen Hawking – Various
Hitler – Testicle
Greyfriars Bobbie – An Owner
And yet they are/were all superstars in their own right overcoming all sorts of disadvantages in the process. One of my musical heroes Ian ‘Mac’ McCullough of Echo and The Bunnymen had a song called ‘Heads Will Roll’ ( oops sorry). The lyrics – if he were to change them completely – go like this:
“I’m the greatest singer there’s ever been
Doncha know wor I mean
Yeah sure baby I ain’t got no spleen
But calm down our kid I ain’t no has been”
So take heart, look ahead (oops sorry). Get out there and party. Live life to the max. As my friend the actress Lena Hedley (oops sorry) says -Hedonism rocks. (oops sorry).
Oily
