Career Magazine

Funny Antithesis Sentences Figure of Speech Examples

Posted on the 20 January 2017 by Lifecoachbloggers
Antithesis is putting two contrasting ideas in a statement or sentence. Here is a list of antithesis sentences examples in form of funny statements and jokes:
  • A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feels so good.
  • A holiday is a day a man stops doing what his boss wants and starts doing what his wife wants
  • Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours
  • Credit cards have made buying easier and paying harder
  • Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike
  • We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
  • The longer it takes you to make a meal, the lesser your child will like it.
  • All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
  • Husband: do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means, Without Information Fighting every-time! Wife: it could also mean-Withe Idiot For Ever.
  • A man to a friend: My wife and I have a joint account. I deposit and she draws it.
  • The only time a husband is right is when he admits he is wrong.
  • Before marriage man holds the hand of a girl out of love. After marriage, he holds her hand in self-defense
  • To be happy with a man, understand him a lot and love him little. To be happy with a woman, love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
  • When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
  • An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
  • I always arrive late to office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
  • Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment
  • Kiss defined by a physicist: the contraction of mouth due to expansion of the heart.
  • Summer is the time when it is too hot to do the jobs it was too cold to do all winter.
  • I don't have a solution but I admire the problem
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  • How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that is a hardware problem
  • I'm not in favor of senseless Microsoft bashing. I'm in favor of bashing Microsoft senseless.

Also See:

Funny Irony Figure of Speech Examples: I yelled at 5 of my friends who called me while I was reading the book "how to make friends and keep them all through the life"
Funny Zeugma Figure of Speech Examples:New Year resolution for computer engineers: I will stop sending email, ICQ, Instant messages and be on phone at the same time with same person.
Funny Onomatopoeia Figure of Speech Examples: Vroom, Squeeze...
Procatalepsis Figure of Speech Examples: You may ask, You may think...
Funny Pun Figure of Speech Examples: Patient: "Doctor, doctor my sister thinks she is a lift!"
Doctor: "Well, tell her come in". Patient: "I can not, she does not stop at this floor!"
Funny Chiasmus Examples: A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well

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