Friday’s Letters: I’ve Been Thinking ’bout Somethin’ Other Than You!

Dear LC
You have been extremely stressful this week. With not taking your worming tablet and then having to rush you to the vet because you decided that cigarette butts was something appetitising. But I really do appreciate the cuddles at night. Somehow you know that I’m not 100% well.

Dear Andre
Unlike your sister, thank you for allowing me to sleep in on days when I’m not rushing off to doctors appointments before work.

Dear Baby Sister
HAPPY QUARTER OF A CENTURY BIRTHDAY! I couldn’t for the life of me remember how old you were for some reason, but you’ve reached an amazing milestone. Keep being your awesome-self. Much love, xx.

Dear B
Thank you for ALL your support this week. Most of my sanity is thanks to you. Looking forward to the new year so we can adopt you a puppy you’ve always wanted.

Dear Life
Wow. What a rollercoaster this week has been. Everything is now different. How I spend my time and with who, where my money goes, what my priorities are, even what I eat and drink has changed in a blink of an eye, I’m still in shock of it all. 2014′s challenge has already been set – BRING IT ON!

Dear Diet Coke
You don’t make me happy anymore. It’s probably a good thing that I’m forced to change what I ingest daily because I just feel like this relationship was extremely one-sided.

Dear Nausea
Honestly, give me a break! I’ve spent more attention this week than anything else.

Dear Nature Strip on my street
Apologies for not being so graceful on Thursday night. Blame the Nausea.

Dear Alison
From the bottom of my heart – THANK YOU – for this week. From being the voice of reason, the medium, the person who wrote “YUM YUM” on the bottom of my show in whiteout to make me feel better, there to be my shoulder to cry on, the one to think I’m being horribly cute when I’m not trying to be and the person with the unconditional and endless supply of comforting hugs. You are an amazing friend and I just love you to pieces.

Dear Social Life
So it seems I’ll be in retirement for a while. I’ll miss you but it’s for the best.

Dear Voicemail
I apologize that you aren’t being utilised appropriately lately. You can rest assured that those numbers who leave abusive messages are will now stop doing so. Mind you, some of them where pretty funny.

Dear Apple & Walnut Bread
I love you. FINALLY it makes sense why I can’t start a shift without consuming a slice. Our love affair might need to stop though. We’ll see.

Dear Waring
First of all, WHY are you even reading this? After this incredibly crazy week, it makes me wonder why the hell would you come here. Habit? Obsession? Curiosity? Or is there another reason why you continue to read my Friday’s Letters.
Whatever your reason, you need to stop and either call me and talk to me like an adult or just go cold turkey and cease being obsessed with me. I don’t mean to make a scene here but none of your actions is making sense. You’ve given me no choice but reach out to you this way. Now please, take your own advice that you left on my voicemail earlier this week, “Stop acting like a fucking fool and ring me.” (Which was horribly cute, by the way.)