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Forget What The Experts Say, You Will Read This Entire Article!

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

A 2013 report from Slate indicates that according to a web traffic-analysis firm, of the people who look at online articles, the majority of them don’t scroll past the article’s half-way point.

The article said more than this, but we never clicked on page 2 (of 2).

Even worse: many online readers comment on articles or recommend them on Twitter without even having read the entire article.

3 Quick Observations About This Story For All Of You With Short Attention Spans

1. The internet is a great place to publish a lazy mystery short story – nobody will read to the end, so you don’t even need to logically explain what happened. Just like every Scream sequel.

2. You’re still here? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you realize it’s a beautiful day outside? Also, since we are more than half-way through this piece, it may be a good time to suggest to writers out there that people may stop reading your articles, not because they’re lazy, but because your writing is not the best. In other words, word got out about your mystery short story where the ending was “The butter did it, and the butler was acquitted of causing the wealthy baron to slip in the kitchen, resulting in his demise.”

3. Thank you for recommending this article on Twitter, liking it in the comments page, and not reading the fact that we hate the way you chew your food, especially butter pecan ice cream!


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