We are with Rachel today, who is talking cake, fitting in to the dress and whether it really matters. Over to Rachel...
You all got a litte bit of a break from me last week - you lucky things! Phoebe and I had a good chat over too much food and the most amazing brownie I've ever eaten...ooh brownie...so she didn't quite escape me.
So darling ones, it's now less than 5 months to go. I keep repeating that fact to myself in order to convince myself it's true. No matter how many times I try and believe it, it doesn't actually feel real. I'd expected to be at the stage where I'd be seriously thinking about our wedding day by now, right down to actually refusing treats in order to look reem (yes, I lifted that from Joey Essex) in my dress. But the thing is, that's not happening. And to be honest, I don't think it's ever going to happen.
Four years ago I started on some medication that has made me put on over 3 stone. Before then I was the annoying girl who could wolf down a burger and fries with a side of chocolate cake whilst still slipping into my teeny tiny skinny jeans. Yes, I was the kind of girl that everyone quite likes to hate. I blame the medication because actually it's very likely to be the main culprit but I'm pretty sure my complete inability to say no to cake and/or chips has something to do with it. So whilst I'm not big - even though I will constantly moan about myself for being so - I do worry about not looking like *me* on our wedding day.
Forget the fact I'm going to be dolled up to the nines with super shiny (we hope!) hair, makeup I've actually bothered to get done properly, a super swanky dress and the most amazing shoes - the thing I most worry about it is looking fat in my wedding photos. And as much as our photographer is a whiz with the ol' gadgets, there's only so much a little airbrushing and creative license can do.
It's a cliche that brides diet before their big day. My dressmaker told me that she has to make brides sign a piece of paper if they ask for their dress to be ordered in a size smaller because she's had so many not manage it and kick up a fuss when it doesn't fit. But why do we feel like we have to? Before we got engaged, I wouldn't say I was happy with how I looked but I was quite content.
What is it with the big shiny diamond and the promise of a big white dress to make you swear blind you're never going to so much as look at a piece of chocolate for as long as you live? Or at least until the reception when you're going to gorge yourself on wedding cake.
I have no idea what I'm trying to achieve with this blog. I have no wise words. I have no 'hoorah for being you and that's all that matters' motivation. At the moment being me is a very fluid concept and just getting through every day one at a time is a massive high five - wowsers, that was a bit dramatic. But on the run up to your wedding day, being you and being comfortable with being you means you have to be comfortable with what you'll see in those photos forever. Well, unless you hide them at the back of the wardrobe and that would just be a real shame.
And if hitting the gym and banning yourselves from the biscuits and crisps aisle at the supermarket suits you down to the ground, then go for it. Likewise, if pizza on the sofa is your thing then go for that too. Me? I'm a bit of both and I actually think that's ok.
Just to be clear, I'm eating Jelly Babies as I write this. They help me be clear...
If you saw Rachel, you would know she hasn't got anything to worry about. And you will look like you on your day, just a new you. A better you perhaps?
