Diaries Magazine

FFS!? Friday : Winter Washing Whine

By Parentalparody @parental_parody

FFS!? Friday : Winter washing whine

Ye olde worlde clothes dryer

Like so many domestic goddesses, I spend half my life in the laundry.  FFS!?
I don't have a dryer.  FFS!?
I've somehow managed to stupidly convince myself that we don't have the room for one, and we've lived so many years without a dryer that we really don't need one.  FFS!?
Let us just ignore the fact that ye olde worlde clothes dryer pictured above takes up the same amount of space as a dryer.  Less if it's wall mounted.  FFS!?
Not having a dryer means that I spend at least 3-4 months of the year dedicating more like three quarters of my life to the laundry and ensuring it dries.  FFS!?
I can't tell you the number of wet wintery nights we sit down to dinner with undies, bras, school shirts and socks hanging from the backs of the dining table chairs drying.  FFS!?
Particularly fetching when you are so used to them being there, that you completely forget about them, only to realize when guests awkwardly decline a seat at the table for coffee.  FFS!?
Or you wake up from a power nap on the lounge with a pair of damp Spiderman jocks delicately draped across your face like an eye mask.  FFS!?
Come winter, I try and wear my clothes as long as possible before washing them.
Obviously not my underbits. Duh.
I'll wear my jeans at least 2-3 times before they have sustained enough domestic splatter (sticky fingers, cooking debris etc.) to be deemed unwearable, and they reluctantly walk themselves into the washing machine.
But that's just me, because I'm the only one who is aware of the great winter washing dilemma.
Daily, #1Hubby and The Feral Threesome disrobe and carelessly toss everything into the washing machine with gay abandon.  FFS!?
Stuff that they've only worn for the 2 hours between getting home from work/school and changing, and showering and putting their pajamas on.  FFS!?
The Twin Tornado are all about dressing themselves lately, and enjoy changing clothes a few times a day when I'm distracted by Facebook or Twitter.  FFS!?
I constantly pass the laundry en route to the toilet and see a mountain of clothes overflowing from the washing machine, denoting at least 2-3 wardrobe changes.  FFS!?
I've caught Miss7, just home from school, assessing her school shirt to see if it's dirty.  Before grabbing a texta and drawing a smiley face or a flower on it.  FFS!?
#1Hubby will spend an entire day in a pristine airconditioned office and still deem his work pants far too dirty to wear again.  FFS!?
Thankfully, our new all-weather patio is currently being erected, which will allow me undercover clothes drying space outside.  No FFS!?
It is being installed by a lovely guy who could pass as the identical twin of Anthony Field from The Wiggles.  No FFS!?
He is a multi-tasking tradesman who will bust out a Hot Potato move for the kids inbetween laying sheets of patio roofing.  No FFS!?
I bet he has a clothes dryer.

FFS!? Friday : Winter washing whine


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