This week, I have been provided with the shits by various and multiple things, none of which are serious or important enough to warrant their own post.
But far be it from me to miss my chance to whine, so here goes...
HB hasn't Tweeted me or commented on my posts or my FB Page for ages. I'm feeling shunned, FFS.
Update: That first FFS-worthy whine was drafted on Tuesday. Tuesday night HB Tweeted me up a storm, with assistance from WOA, DearBabyG. As a result, I was left both traumatised and unable to sleep for fear of dreams about unsightly and unspeakable damaged male body parts. FFS.
I mean I know he's had man flu, kiddy parties to attend, and whatever else. But still.
#1Hubby dared to joke about having another baby in the hope that we could provide Mstr3 with a brother. Yes, he was joking. Hells no it won't happen. But still, MOFO. FFS. Some things you just don't joke about, am I right? I received the most awesome birthday party invitation ever. Seriously. Witty, professional, awesome. My friend apologised for sending it so early, and understood if I couldn't RSVP yet. Yep, no drama there - my calendar is tot's free and empty up to and including and beyond the July party date, FFS.
The kids have started swearing in earnest. Loudly. In public. It's making me look bad. FFS. I have had to try and curb my swearing. It's not going well. FFS. I've been that crap mother at school AGAIN this past fortnight. Showed up with the wrong things on the wrong days, forgot stuff on other days. Am sure the child-free young teacher thinks I'm a total brainless wonder. Sadly, she may be right. FFS. Did I just go on holiday? I swear it never happened. FFS. Mstr3 has a barking cough. It occurs every night between the hours of 3am and 6am. He sleeps through it, as does his sister in the same room. As does ever other freaking person except me. Come 6am when it magically stops, I am unable to get back to sleep. So I am essentially awake from 3am. FFS.
Why is it that #1Hubby can sleep through all of it when he is right next to me? Does my extremely loud sighing, tossing of blankets, flouncing in and out of bed (read: launching myself back into the bed from the doorway in an effort to gently rock the bed so that he peacefully wakes) not disturb him? FFS.
Bastard is probably awake through the whole thing, just pretending to be asleep. Kudos on the faux snoring, #1Hubby. FFS.
If I was to travel, my under eye baggage would require its own boarding pass and seat. FFS.
True that. Especially when said sleep deprived mother's other half makes really dumb jokes about having further sleep inhibiting offspring.
I have no legitimate whine this week, and as I type this post I am feeling super petty and lame. FFS.
