Diaries Magazine

FFS!? Friday : Post Christmas Aftermath

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
Linking up again with the super awesome and lovely DearBabyG for FFS!? Friday.

Triple Ho's for the last time this year Peeps! FFS!? Friday : Post Christmas Aftermath Christmas Day...that one day of the year where men get to relax, kids get to run wild and feral, and women slave away over a feast while managing the feral kids and dodging a toy obstacle course spread over every conceivable surface while picking up random pieces of tinsel and curling ribbon. Oh wait...that's every day, except for the tinsel and curling ribbon bit. Mega FFS!? right there. As usual, #1Nana insisted on an epic hot feast for Christmas lunch, despite the hot summer temperatures leaning more towards a simple, cold lunch.  Which meant that I had to help her sweat and slave over three different kinds of roasts, while the men folk took the piss out of our over-the-top efforts, same as they do every year, beers in hand, FFS!? I was in charge of Christmas dessert, so I went all Martha Stewart on it and made a dazzling multi-level trifle to rival whatever dazzling multi-level hotel is currently the most dazzling and multi-level in Dubai.  Only, everyone was so bloody full after the three different kinds of hot roast meat accompanied by seven different vegetables, 2 different gravies, apple and cranberry sauces...that nobody could fit it in, FFS!? We're talking cream, custard, sponge cake liberally doused in booze - multiple layers of awesome, FFS!?

FFS!? Friday : Post Christmas Aftermath

Christmas lunch with the extended PP Family : You're not allowed to leave the table until you look like this, having consumed your body weight in roasted produce.

I like to brag about the 2yr old twin tornado sleeping until 9am.  Not in summer.  Not when it's light outside at 6am.  Unfortunately, their sadistically early rising in the warmer months does not come hand in hand with earlier bed times.  In fact, they're trying to reduce their afternoon nap to nothing so that they go all Britney on me and turn totally feral and strung out and tired the 14hrs a day that they're not  angelic  sleeping,  FFS!? Which means that Christmas Eve, I was downing shots of coffee instead of vino, on account of trying to outlast the twin tornado and Miss6, in order to covertly deposit the Santa giftage.  Seriously, how the hell do such  young kids manage on such little sleep, FFS!? I then stayed up until after midnight wrapping the rest of the presents.  The wrapping got progressively more dodgy as the hours dragged on, and as a result I mislabeled a number of gifts, creating a whole other kind of chaos and confusion Christmas morning, FFS!?

FFS!? Friday : Post Christmas Aftermath

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a bit "particular" about gift wrapping.  It killed me to do such a crap job that was without symmetry, color co-ordination, plentiful ribbon and invisible tape and fold lines, FFS!?

Speaking of Christmas presents...I totally bought too many.  #1Hubby made a quick trip back to the city to water the cat and feed the gardens, and took home an entire box of kiddy presents still wrapped in their festive finery.  We didn't even bother giving them to the kids, because we couldn't find the three of them under the pile of giftage they had already accumulated, FFS!? Worse still, the stuff that went home unopened was little bitsy crap.  Nothing substantial, nothing returnable, nothing Ebayable, FFS!? #1Nana's present of awesome (the wine bag) did not arrive in time, FFS!? The present of awesome arrived 2 days after Christmas, FFS!? Someone told #1Nana what the present of awesome was that she was yet to receive, FFS!? That someone may or may not have been me, while  overly  slightly merry on a bit too much festive punch, FFS!? I did not get a Nespresso for Christmas, FFS!? I did not get George Clooney for Christmas, FFS!? I did, however, enjoy a nice dream about me, George and a steamy Nespresso.  Merry Christmas, self.
FFS!? Friday : Post Christmas Aftermath
To top it all off, I am at the #1Grandparents' house for 2 weeks over the festive season.  #1Nana has broadband internet, only she doesn't have Wifi.  Big First World Woe is me over having to go upstairs to her dinosaur computer if I want to use the internet.  We're talking 2 weeks of limited Twitter, Facebook, Email and Blogging, FFS!? I am having to actually...wait for it...CONVERSE FACE TO FACE, OMG AND FFS!? But seriously, I have discovered that I'm not nearly as hilarious when I don't have the benefit of a Delete button and Scheduling, FFS!? Also, they live in the country and there is NO MACCA'S!  What am I supposed to bribe the kids with now, FFS!? Anywho, despite my FFS!? moments, Christmas was, as always, completely awesome.  I'm blessed with a healthy extended family, who are often happy, even if it's when we're not all living on one 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house that only gets limited television stations (another FFS!? right there). Best of all...we're going to Bali for Christmas next year!  #1Nana and I made the call while sweating into the gravy this year, while fondly remembering Christmas 2010 when we were sipping cocktails in the hotel pool while the hotel cooked the festive feast.  Best. Present. Ever.

FFS!? Friday : Post Christmas Aftermath

Any chance you'd believe this is me?
It totally could've been, if I hadn't sat through the multiple roast  Christmas lunch this year

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A "PS" totally unrelated to FFS!? Friday...


Winners of Jim Henson's Dinosaur Train DVD giveaway are:
- Romandcomps
- Michele
- Shannon Berg
- Debra Cannon
- Fiona Donnelly
All winners have been emailed, and the clock it is a'ticking.  If winners don't respond to my email within 7 days, I will have to drink lots of wine to console myself *cough* any excuse *cough*, and then carry out a drunken re-draw.

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