Diaries Magazine

FFS!? Friday: Of Poorly Parenting and Goats

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
On Wednesday I reminded another school Mum about the great annual Book Week dress up parade that was to take place at school the following day.  We joked about having to rush out to Red Dot and buy the cheapest costume on offer, then convince our daughters that they really loved the associated book and that's why they want to go to school dressed as said character.
I was all kinds of smug parent following such awesome foresight and planning and reminding and assisting another mother, yo.  The following morning (yesterday) we got ready for school as normal.  3 minutes before we were officially later than late. Miss6 remembered Book Week and the associated costume requirements. FFS. Being that we were due at school like 17 minutes ago, I literally grabbed the most garish, rhinestone encrusted, bright clothing that Miss6 owns (and there's a lot to choose from, my friends) and a couple of stray $2 shop coloured hair extensions that had attached themselves to the carpet in her room.  I told her that she could say she was Hannah Montana or a Bratz Doll.  She chose Bratz (phew...).
FFS!? Friday: Of poorly parenting and goats
Parent fail. FFS.
Parent fail following the smug glow of being the "organised" parent reminding others of the very event I forgot less than 24hrs later. FFS.
Speaking of Miss6 - she has taken over my the iPad. FFS. As soon as she found YouTube it was all over.  Nobody else has any hope of using it.  She is like a rabid dog, who snarls if anyone else attempts to get within 10 metres of the thing. FFS. If I hear one more bloody 1Direction or Justin Bieber song my ears will start bleeding.  And my brain will implode.  And I will start singing along like I have done every single day. FFS. I received an email about a new Aussie short film for kids, by PROREVOLUTION Films. I figured it was my chance to distract Miss6 from 1D and Bieber, so we watched it.  Miss6 is mesmerised by the short film I'm 5 AKA The Horse, The Doll & The Goat Whisperer (No FFS).
It's unlike any other child's story/clip I've ever seen, and Miss6 was completely taken with it.  Particularly the goat.  I'm ecstatic that she's forgotten about 1D and Bieber, for the time being (No FFS). I'm now eagerly awaiting their next child-friendly clip. Thank the Vodka Gods there are no perky teenagers in brightly coloured lycra, prancing around, singing preppy songs that make me want to repeatedly slap them upside the head with Justin Bieber's hair after a full can of hairspray has hardened that sucker up real good.

FFS!? Friday: Of poorly parenting and goats

Lethal weapon hair: The next line of defence and personal protection.
For when the bodyguard is busy or has his hands full with the screaming masses of teenage girls and their mothers

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog