Diaries Magazine

FFS!? Friday: Mini MoFo's

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
Just a few things this week: 1.  The Twin Tornado are screwing with me, FFS. Again. FFS. And they're winning. FFS. They've taken to removing my mouse and hiding it.  They smirk and snicker as I tear the living room up looking for it. FFS. I'm just waiting for them to hide it in the toilet bowl, their usual disposal/hiding place of choice. FFS.
2a.  The seagulling scabbery continues. FFS.
The Twin Tornado again picked from the food of others at the park, both last week and this week. FFS.
I took them to playgroup at the park, complete with their own snacks.  Snacks they loved and ate.  Then they pretty much demanded apples from one of the other mothers who had given them an apple last week. FFS.  And the week before that. FFS.
We're talking full apples.  Plus crackers from one of the other mothers.  And I had to step in and say please, no more, when the generous apple donor mother even offered up jam sandwiches.
Seriously, Twin Tornado, you're making me look bad.  People are going to think I never feed you. FFS.

FFS!? Friday: Mini MoFo's

Don't let the looks fool you. That is the Twin Tornado's version of a bit fat FU. FFS

2b.  Public humiliation abounds. FFS.
So I took them to the supermarket straight after Playgroup, to buy apples.  I even let them pick their own.  An old lady commented on how good they were to be choosing fruit. Miss3: "No, actually, because we already eat the apples, actually. Actually these are more, actually." Said little old lady doesn't know we've just been to playgroup and had apples.  She thinks they've eaten them straight from the supermarket display. FFS. As does the now slitty eyed supermarket attendant who was standing on the other side of the apple display, witnessing the whole exchange. FFS. Now they all assume I'm the parent that takes their kids in for a feed before paying. FFS.
Obviously I must find a new supermarket now. FFS. Right when I knew where everything was, on every aisle. FFS.
Little mini mofo's.

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