Diaries Magazine

FFS?! Friday : Issue 2

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
Following on from last week's inaugural FFS?! Friday, I'm once again bowing down to the hilarious genius that is Dear Baby G - her sarcasm radar is never so finely tuned as when she lets rip with her FFS?! Friday post.  Last week she had me in stitches over her son finding Google Doctor.  I should put it on the banned sites list of our own laptop, lest #1 Hubby find it and start self-diagnosing more severe ailments than Man Flu. So Interverse, here's what's had me face-palming and saying Oh FFS?! this week... I sent out sponsorship requests via begging and pleading emails for the Digital Parents Conference 2012, and just by chance, the very first response I got saw me re-reading my original email...only to find TWO typo's.  Totally unprofessional and unforgivable when you're touting your writing skills, FFS. A heavily pregnant mother did in-class helper duty this week, while I was - as usual - the very first parent to high tail it out of the school after nudging Miss6 in the door.  This just makes me feel like a less than committed parent, let alone how it looks to others like the 8 1/2 months pregnant super mother, FFS. I tweeted about how Vin Diesel would make my good life even better, and it was then re-tweeted by *a* Vin Diesel.  I got all excited thinking it was the start of a beautiful illicit Twitter affair...only this Vin Diesel has less than 3,000 followers, so I think it's safe to assume it's not really him.  Dream crushed, FFS. My awesome new employers are having a BBQ on a balcony with pink champagne this balmy afternoon, and I can't go because I have three kids to look after.  And they're all my own, so I can't return them to their rightful owners in order to attend this occasion that involves alcohol and adult conversation that doesn't revolve around why the cat meows or why Dora only has one outfit, FFS.
My sunglasses broke.  I paid $4.99 for them, so I guess that's to be expected.  Only, I loved them and can't part with them, so I'm relying on a few layers of sticky tape coloured in black texta to hold the frame together, rather unsuccessfully.  FFS.
I found some awesome replacement sunglasses and they're only $19.99 - at Pumpkin Patch.  Designed for ages 4 - 12, as per the label.  I was busted trying them on in front of the display window, by multiple passers by inside a busy suburban shopping center.  As a result, I had to scurry out of there at high speed.  As a result, I'm sure they thought I was a shop lifter.  As a result, I can't go back to buy my new sunglasses.  As a result, I'm destined to wear the sticky tape encrusted pair for the rest of eternity, FFS. #1 Hubby was right and I was wrong.  Twice.  BIG FFS. 
Oh okay, it was more like 5 or 6 times.  SUPER ULTRA FFS.

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