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Golden Rule : Never ask after someone's weight unless you know, without a doubt, that they have lost weight. Obvious, right? Not to kids who know nothing but brutal honesty. FFS!? It all started with some one-on-one time. The other night, Miss5 was cuddling up to me in bed. It was one of those rare, loving, mother-daughter moments. No FFS!? Which she promptly ruined: Miss5: Mummy, you look like you losed weight. Me: Really? Miss5: Yeah. Did you loseded weight Mummy? Me: I don't know, but I don't think so. Miss5: Well I think you did. Me: Well thank you love, that's a nice thing to say. Miss5: I know you losed weight because your head looks bigger. Because my head looks bigger. FFS!? Five years old and she's mastered the back-handed compliment. FFS!? Is it even possible for your head to get bigger? How could she tell, lying down in bed, blankets covering the rest of me. FFS!? I mean, really, I think it's a bit of an unfair judgment call on her part. She wasn't really assessing me from my best angle. FFS!? I was so tempted to retalliate by saying that she has a lovely shaped eyebrow. As in singular. As in mono-brow. FFS!? But I'm above that, because I'm her mother and she learns from my examples. So, instead, I just outed her monobrow on the internet. Heh. I do love my kids, but sometimes they make it really hard. FFS!?
