I'm not good with uncertainty. I like to pretend that I am, all bright and breezy and 'what will be, will be'. I love to bandy that saying around. In reality, the unknown is my worst enemy. There is no safety in the unknown and oh how I love a safe warm space to lay my head.
In reality, what will be, will be is comforting, but it can be a cop out. It hands over the control and releases responsibility. All of a sudden our future is in someone else's hands. God, or the universe, or a dead relative, or fate, or coincidence, depending on what you believe in. When the fact of the matter is that we create our own reality, we make our own choices, we shape our own experience.
I personally believe in fate, but I can see why some people choose not to. Because in the wrong hands, a belief in fate can lead to self-sabotage. Often, there are things we want so bad, it is too scary to admit. So we hide from our true desires, all the while relying on fate to bring us what we truly want.
But in reality, the universe, or god, or the dead relative, or fate, or coincidence, provides the opportunity. But we still have to take it. We have to decide we really want it and chase the white rabbit. And that is the shithouse scary thing isn't it. Because that means it's all on us. You turn around to pin the blame on the person behind you and there is nobody there. I guess that's what our parents are for.
Maybe it is a combination of both. Maybe what will be, will be. And maybe we need that comfort. But maybe, we have to pick something that makes us feel good and run in that direction full tilt. We have to find a way to have faith in ourselves and our abilities, so we can see the opportunity when it comes knocking. And maybe we have to learn to trust ourselves. Trust that no matter what happens, we'll have it handled. And that there is no such things as a step back. Every experience provides a contrast. Either it worked, or it didn't. Now we know.
Maybe the unknown isn't the bad guy after all. Maybe all that fear is just there to show us what we really truly want.
I can't tell you what's ahead for me, or you. It's the unknown and that's the fun of it...apparently.
Now I'm off to hide under the covers, curl into a ball and hope for the best.
Much love XX
Photo taken at the Christchurch botanical gardens.
