Once upon a time there was a Mummy bear and a Daddy bear. They had two lovely children and their lives were spent skipping around the woods, hand in hand.
Well… some of the time.
Mummy bear and Daddy bear were pretty normal really. They did normal stuff, with normal people, almost to the point of smugness at times. “Look at us!” they would think. “Look at us, in our lovely house and lovely garden, our lovely cars on the drive with our perfect children and our perfect lives…Yes, world! Take a look!”
Only nobody’s life can be that perfect, can it?
Daddy bear sometimes told fibs, and that annoyed Mummy bear greatly. The sad thing was, the fibs were about silly little things where the truth would have done just as well. One time, Daddy bear told quite a big fib about a lady sharing his tent on a camping trip. Mummy bear wasn’t concerned about the lady sharing the tent, as she knew it wouldn’t be anything seedy – just a cost saving exercise… she was more bothered that Daddy bear thought it was perfectly alright to make things up.
After a great deal of badgering, Daddy bear finally ‘fessed up to the fib. Mummy bear was very upset about Daddy bear telling bare faced porkies, and she told him “No more lies, Daddy bear”. She went on… “Lies make me feel sad. If you tell me any more fibs, you will break our lovely life, as I cannot listen to any more.”
But Daddy bear didn’t take heed of this warning.
One night, Daddy bear sloped off to bed with the man flu, and Mummy bear sat downstairs drinking wine. Mummy bear was not normally one to snoop, but being slightly squiffy, and slightly miffed about sitting around on her own, she did the unforgivable. She looked on Daddy bear’s mobile phone.
On the phone was a text to a lady called ‘Ang S’ that Daddy bear wanted to meet for an hour. Mummy bear didn’t know anyone called ‘Ang S’ and wondered who this lady might be. And more to the point, why would Daddy bear want to meet her?
Mummy bear confronted Daddy bear with the text exchange, and Daddy bear swore that the text had arrived out of the blue, and it must have been a scam. “But why did you save the name on your phone?”, Mummy bear asked.
“And what are these private pics you are texting about?”
Then Daddy bear truly excelled himself with the fibs that he dreamed up. In fact, if there was an exam in telling porkies, Daddy bear would have got an A*!
The text was a scam, the pictures were of a car, which was orange one day, black the next and flame coloured shortly after… The name was embedded in the picture, so of course, Daddy bear had to save it! Then the story changed. The text was still a scam, but the picture was of a lady…. Mummy bear truly thought she was going mad!
In desperation, Mummy bear telephoned a private investigator, and sent him the details of the text. Within moments, he had found who the number belonged to.
Silly Daddy bear must have got confused… the number didn’t belong to a car at all! It belonged to a 19 year old prostitute called Angelina Sweet!
Silly, silly Daddy bear…
