Another cookie? Don't mind if I do, but you can keep your cabbage soup, liver-cleansing concoctions, pallets of grapefruit and slabs of beef.
Hi, my name is Brandon, and I'm a fad dieter.
Actually, I'm in recovery, but I've tried it all. Any quick fix diet that has every graced the cover of Woman's Day magazine, I've tried.
I know what you're thinking, and yes, I said Woman's Day magazine. You see, when you're a guy and you've been overweight your entire life, you'll try anything. And I have.
It started during my freshman year of college, when I realized that I was better endowed than pretty much every girl in my dorm. I could have blamed the notorious "freshman 15," but I knew coming in that I was about a "D" cup. The extra 15 pounds I packed on brought me up to a "DD." Just saying.
So my sophomore year, when I moved into an apartment just off campus, my roommate Lauren and I decided to lose the weight–fast.
She'd come back to the apartment after a weekend at her parents' house with the latest Woman's Day and we'd head down to the grocery store to stock up on food or liquids that were necessary to complete whatever fad diet was popular at the time.
We drank nothing but a terrible mix of honey, vinegar and water for a week. We choked down copious amounts cabbage soup for about 16 days. And we suffered through spoonful after spoonful of grapefruit for two weeks.
Nothing worked, but that didn't stop me from trying everything else for the next 10 years–Atkins, South Beach and even that "cookie diet" scam.
Finally, I faced the facts:
- I was overweight.
- I didn't have the skills to eat healthy every day.
- Fad diets don't work.
- It was time for me to try gastric sleeve surgery.
Gastric sleeve surgery may sound like quite a leap, but you've got to understand–I'd tried everything. In addition to what I've listed above, I tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and even fasting for days at a time.
Nothing worked.
So I had the surgery two years ago. I've lost 80 pounds. I spent time with a dietitian I now have the skills and determination to eat right–mostly because gastric sleeve surgery actually works.
But also because I have pecks now–and all those girls from the dorm are loving them!
