I really should be sleep, I’m not sure what’s up with the insomnia tonight but its 2am and I have to work tomorrow or should I say later on today. Guess who’ll be camped out by the coffee pot later looking crazy? Yours truly! So since I can’t sleep I’ll write. Time has a funny way of revealing things. How many times have you thought you knew someone but then later realize you didn’t know them at all? Better yet, how many times have you dated someone and when things ended you felt badly but slowly realized your ass dodged a bullet.
One conversation that I seem to have with my friends frequently is how people change. You lay down with Denzel Washington and wake up with Mr. T. My theory is that in the first few months of meeting someone a person puts their best foot forward and wears the mask of deception until they reel you in. The mask then comes off and they start tap dancing and say “tadaaaa” and you’re left wondering what happen to the person you fell in love with. So here are a few things you should look out for:
In the first few months you will start to inquire about their family. If a person is at odds with the whole damn family then there may be a problem. Normally there are always 2 people who don’t see eye to eye but when someone doesn’t deal with the entire family that could be a red flag. Also, if a person has children that they don’t see or take care of take that as a sign as well.
If your gut is telling you something is wrong, guess what something is wrong. If you suspect the elevator may not make it all the way to the penthouse or something is not necessarily right then you’re more than likely correct. Always trust your intuition about a person. Sometimes we feel the need to try to fix people unfortunately you can’t fix anybody who doesn’t want to be fixed. I work a full time job, the last thing I want to do is come home and work on you. That’s what they have Psychiatrist for. Also watch for people who always speaks of money and finances. Rule of thumb, people who got good money don’t talk about it and it will make you think twice about this person. Money does not buy you common sense, happiness, or your sanity! If someone tells you their looking to meet and date mature professional people then they have to be mature and professional as well and that includes emotional maturity. If you have a list of expectations you should meet all of your qualifications before you seek it in someone else.
If you catch someone in a little white lie or they downplay shit watch out. The thing that I sometimes dislike about myself is that I have a photographic memory and I actually do possess good listening skills. As a result, I remember shit that people tell me, if they tell you one thing and do another or if they downplay the events of their life, be leery, people who tell little white lies often tell big fat black ones too.
If the person has had quite a few relationships over the past few years something’s not quite right. You should not have a new boo every Christmas or New Years. Also, if a person maintains friendships with their ex’s, that’s a red flag too. You simply don’t have to be everybody’s friend. This signifies that either you can’t effectively move on or you feel guilty because you messed everything up and maintaining a friendship makes you feel better about yourself. When a person has been in quite a few relationships that didn’t work out..It’s not always the other persons fault. Maintaining a friendship with an ex can be done but only when a significant amount of time has passed and the romantic feelings have passed. A friendship does not include your legs being wide open or your pants being pulled down on a weekly basis. That’s just leads to tacky confusion.
This has been my theory for years and I have also learned that sometimes people hide their true self for years and live secret lives. It happens, trust me! It’s up to us to pay attention to the small subtle signs that we may pick up on to determine whether someone is as good as they appear to be. I enjoy going out meeting new people and I certainly enjoy dating, after all I am a social butterfly, but as you get to know people you will indeed find that everything you need to know will be revealed in time. This should not hinder you from meeting others, enjoy and embrace the chance to meet new people.
