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“Every 105-Year-Old’s Doing It, Why Can’t We?” We’d Imagine 1990s Rockers The Cranberries Might Say.

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Yahoo reports that a 105-year-old woman from Texas proudly eats bacon every day!

3 Additional Seemingly Unlikely Things Someone Could* Do To Live To Be A Hundred Instead Of Eating Bacon Every Day

1. Smoke bacon-wrapped nicotine-filled cigarettes, then eat the second-hand smoke-covered bacon.

2. After a life of smoking bacon-wrapped cigarettes, get a lung transplant, replacing your lung with bacon strips formed into the shape of a lung. Mmmmmmmmmmmm… the sweet smell of bacon with every breath!

3. Instead of exercising, watch a pig on a treadmill at your local gym, while you eat bacon-wrapped-bacon. We’re guessing the pig will want to get as far away from you as possible, but may not realize the treadmill is not the best way to accomplish that goal. Still, more fun and better exercise than a trip to a pork-rendering plant!

*Not a recommendation! Consult your doctor before doing any ridiculous things involving bacon! Maybe if you bring your doctor some bacon they will be especially happy to prescribe you with “More bacon!”

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