Watching my two children I can see so clearly the difference that sets apart an eating disorder. To say that it is an attitude, bad behavior or choice illness is to give the ED the illusion of being a rational, logical illness that can be cured easily with straight talk.
We were watching my son who was underweight and making sure his weight didn’t fall lower so that he might trigger an ED. But it is far more than that.
It is not about the weight. It is not the weight that determines whether an ED is going to happen.
Rather it is the mind and only the mind the starts the ED illness. My son was able to be talked to, he understand fully and was able to respond rationally and normally. He accepted he was underweight and was able to stop the slide down. He increased (slowly) his food intake. He didn’t want to lose weight, didn’t see himself as ‘fat’. He didn’t need to sneak or hide, manipulate or lie about food. He didn’t hear voices. So with support and medication he is back to a very good weight. Still very depressed/suicidal/anxiety ridden, but not in the realm of an eating disorder. His depression is not part of an eating disorder.
I can see why though some doctors think it is depression and not an eating disorder. The low weight and lack of food to the brain causes problems in itself and causes depression at a deeper level. My daughter, unable to eat couldn’t feed brain or emotions and continued down lower and lower. My son, able to eat, is now not as deep in depreciation and his mind is functioning clearer with the added weight.
Whereas …
My daughter when underweight she couldn’t begin to eat more nor understand why she should. It was like she was on another parallel or left her mind behind somewhere. The anorexia mindset was already in full residence about 4-6 months before the weight started to decline. Healthy foods, vegetarian, etc., accompanied by this intense, black/white focus. She wasn’t rational about her weight or the amount of food needed to gain weight. Her head was full of a voice that continued to control and push her down.
Relating to the two is also so different. On any level to do with food, clothes, weight and self my daughter was totally negative and unable to communicate normally at all. My son and I can still talk to about all these things and not have a negative blast back from him. He is still himself. Whereas my daughter lost herself and become an entirely different person.
I don’t know whether I have explained all this enough to show just how that eating disorders are based in the mind. If I had only one child, I wouldn’t have noticed this difference so much. But having two, with similar symptoms, but developing into two different paths, has shown me just how different an ED is and how much it affects the mind and personality.
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