" Try to pose for yourself this task: not to think of a polar bear, and you will see that the cursed thing will come to mind every minute."
This quote from Dosteoevsky (1863) probably rings true for many of us. The moment we try not to think of something or empty it from our thoughts, it resurfaces more resilient than ever. It rang true for Daniel Wegner, a psychology professor at Harvard, and served as the impetus for his famous research (1987) proving just that point. Ironic Process Theory now describes the process whereby deliberate attempts to rid the mind of certain thoughts only make them more likely to emerge.
Since then, the phrase "don't think about the white bear" has entered the zeitgeist and gets referenced quite regularly. We all have that idea, question, problem or memory that haunts us no matter now hard we try to forget it. It's the stuff earworms are made of!
So, the next question is what to do about it. The two obvious approaches are to either lean into the thought harder, or to try and fill your mind with other, more powerful thoughts. In part, this red pill/blue pill conundrum ultimately depends on your goal. If the thought is haunting you and your goal is to figure out an unresolved problem or sort through a question in your mind, than perhaps leaning in is the way to go. It may hurt to think about that white bear even harder, but it may also give you the focus you need to resolve the issue.
On the other hand, if you're trying to rid the thought from your mind, than filling the psychic space with another more powerful thought or idea may do the trick. Perhaps you're trying to figure out a solution to a problem and the only answer that comes to mind is one that you know won't work. Alternatively, you may find it helpful to decide in advance on another time to consider the thought or problem. This may allow you to set it aside for the time being.
In either case, trying to curb your tendency to multitask can be helpful. The more stretched you are mentally, the less likely you will be able to succeed in either direction. You simply don't have the available bandwidth. You may also consider engaging in an activity that changes your mood and puts you on a different emotional frequency. Re-framing the thought or problem in order to think through it's meaning and how you want to resolve it can be helpful as well. Additionally, numerous studies have found that meditation or mindfulness practices can be effective tools to strengthen the mind and allow us to purge the white bear from our thoughts, if we so choose.
Whatever your "white bear" may be, we know from Wegner and other researchers that simply trying to forget about it just doesn't work. Perhaps our unconscious minds are forcing us to hold onto those thoughts so we have no choice but to try and resolve them?
So, what is your white bear? Maybe you'll simply be thinking about the white bear when you fall asleep tonight. You're welcome!
