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Disney Acquires Almost Every Other Hero It Didn’t Acquire Through Marvel

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Engadget reports that Disney (owner of your favorite Marvel superheroes) has acquired Lucasfilm Ltd., including the rights to Star Wars and Indiana Jones. According to the report, Disney plans to release a Star Wars film every two to three years.

3 Worse Things A Media Giant Could Acquire And Release Every Two To Three Years.

1. The Winter Olympics. We think once every four years is enough to crown an international winner of the biathlon, a sport that combines cross-country skiing with rifle-shooting, which are two modern real-world skills likely most necessary for a boring James Bond Movie set in a country with no hills.

2. The Fall Olympics. Pumpkin-Jack O-Lantern-carving-with-a-rifle may at first sound more exciting than the biathlon (until the zombies attack on Halloween, and all the world’s rifles are out of ammunition from carving pumpkins.)

3. A live animatronic U.S. president show. While kids across America may adore an animatronic Abraham Lincoln giving a speech at Disneyland, we wonder if Mitt Romney wins, whether a robotic Mitt Romney might seem just a little too realistic for kids to enjoy after floating through the less realistic animatronic sing-a-long ride It’s A Small World.

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