Dating Magazine

Desperation Is Not Cute: How Not To Act Desperate

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

how not to be desperate

I’ve known for a long time that desperation is not cute.  Some women are so desperate that they become oblivious to their behavior. So I decided to write this post on How Not to Act Desperate.

I hate to admit it, but I’ve become a huge fan of reality TV. The Real Housewives of Atlanta to be precise. I can take the pettiness, the arguments, and women giving themselves a lot more credit than they deserve; after all, it’s make for good TV. However, the one thing I can’t take or stand to see is a woman act desperate. For the Real Housewives fans out here you already know whom I’m speaking of …Kenya Moore the former Miss America or is it Miss USA, I forget! She has a severe case of the Desperate Woman Syndrome. Somebody please throw this lady a bone!

Ladies I do understand that we desire companionship, marriage, kids, the white picket fence, yada….yada…yada! But making a complete fool of yourself (whether knowingly or not) is not the way to get the attention you desire. Unfortunately, many women don’t recognize what they’re doing. That’s when I step in to tell you in the friendliest way possible to sit your ass down somewhere or as my elders would say “get yo ass somewhere and sat down”

Learn the meaning of the word boundaries

Boundaries are something that every good woman should posses. Don’t flirt with men who you know are involved. Don’t plot, plan, and construct situations that could land you at the wrong end of someone’s fist. This is especially important if the person you’re flirting with is your friend’s partner. Touching, feeling, complimenting, and glaring longer than you should is inappropriate. Know your place and stay in it!

If someone shows interest in your friend, stay the hell out of it

Let me set the scenario, you and a few friends go out to a club. A nice looking man smiles and winks at you. Of course you bat your eyelashes and smile back. A friend of yours witnesses the whole exchange and then conveniently bumps into him at the bar and starts a conversation with him to divert the guy’s attention from you.  In other cases, you may be having a conversation with him and she walks up and includes herself. In my neck of the woods we call this thirsty. If I’m having a decent conversation and a friend walks up, I would tell her to excuse herself. What we’re talking about doesn’t concern her, no need for her to interject.

Independence is good but………

Speaking strictly from my point of view, I don’t believe women should chase men. I’m all for women being independent educated, and business minded; but I don’t think women should ask men out. I don’t think women should be the pursuer and I don’t think women should be at bars asking “can I buy you a drink?” I’ve personally asked men “do you like women to ask you out?” and I’ve gotten the same response from all….Hell no! Yes, he may take the drink and he may take your number but unless he feels like he’s doing the pursuing, it won’t go anywhere.

Don’t pressure or beg

If you have to pressure someone into committing to you that’s a bad sign. If it’s meant to be there should be no questions about it. Things will come together naturally in their own time. You can’t force people to commit to you and you can’t force someone to marry you. While you’re putting the pressure on someone he or she is not thinking “wow they must really love me” instead something like “damn, she/he is really desperate comes to mind. If you see things are not heading towards an agreeable ending walk away. No need to beg, plead, or keeping asking why. It gets you nowhere but to the same ending and conclusion. It is this type of behavior the leads to being taken advantage of.

This was written based off the actions of Kenya Moore. Recently, her boyfriend who she pathetically begs for marriage came forth and said she paid him to be her boyfriend on the show


Ladies, anytime you have to pay someone to be with your ass, you have hit an all time low!




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