Body, Mind, Spirit Magazine

Dear Diary, Dancing with Cancer. To the Granchildren I May Never Know

By Phoenixwriter @naesnest

Dear Diary, Dancing with Cancer. To the granchildren I may never know


Dear Diary,

I know I haven’t written in a while. Things are getting more  difficult to deal with as I grow weak. I am facing death. I am losing my battle. The cancer is back again. It is again active in my liver and now has spread to my left lung. I will go in next week to see what we will do from here. I am in the final stages. What began as a “less aggressive slow-growing cancer” has been upgraded to a hungry beast eager to chew at my flesh.

With each tear of my flesh, I grit my teeth in pain. The monster is strong and it just doesn’t want to let go. I am going to die. The treatments prolong my life, but there is now little hope it will cure.

I try to continue to write, though this is now becoming difficult. I fear I shall lose my mind if I am no longer able to write. This will probably make death come even faster. I have had few eBook sales and no eBook reviews.  I would love to know at least one of my books was beginning to do well. It is all I have to give the grandchildren I may never know. I hope to get back to writing a childrens book I started many years ago. It tells of my childhood. It would be something my sons could read to their children.  They will hear of how their grandmother grew up and of all her “Ramona the Pest” excursions. They will hear of the Great Grandpa and how funny and loving is.  Great Grandma the wonderful cook who fed their daddy until his little belly could burst.  The would learn of my brother and sister.  They would know what we were all like as children. Their heritage.  This is all they will ever have of me. The only gift I will ever give.

I am collecting prayers. I count them one by one. One for every tear, one for every tumor. One for those I love and one for memories never to come.

Renee Robinson

My author’s profile & bookstore-

Amazon Profile & Bookstore:

Smashwords Profile & Bookstore:

Shadows & Flames Book Net:

List of eBooks:

Cancer is My Name, ASIN#  B00AKZ98KS

Raining Angels, ASIN B00BBERPCK

Shadows of The Heart, ASIN BOOBD2I0X4

Butterfly Wings, ISBN 9781301970148

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