It occurred to me recently that while my body must be infinitely more content with the treatment it receives from me now (both externally and internally), I felt like I owed it an apology. After all, if I had abused someone else for decades and decided to make peace, I would surely extend my sincerest apologies to them. So, I thought I would post my letter here in the hopes that some of you will join me in a Body Apology of your own.
Dear Body,
– I am sorry for ignoring your hunger signals for so many years.
– I am sorry for making you drink disgusting diet shakes and eat tasteless diet foods.
– I am sorry for stuffing you with excess food and then shaming you when you were only responding to the starvation and self-hate that I was inflicting on you.
– I am sorry for comparing you to other women I knew nothing about and thinking you were supposed to look like them.
– I am sorry I thought of you as an object to gain approval and attention, rather than the amazing miracle that you are.
– I am sorry for hating every freckle, lump and bump on your skin.
– I am sorry for stuffing you into clothes that felt too tight and hating you when things no longer fit.
– I am sorry for making you wear high-heeled shoes that felt way too cramped and uncomfortable.
– I am sorry for criticizing you every time I saw your reflection in a mirror or a window.
– I am sorry for thinking you could not leave the house without wearing make-up.
– I am sorry for depriving you of rest when you were tired.
– I am sorry for pumping you with caffeine instead of listening to your natural rhythms.
– I am sorry you had to ingest dangerous substances because I wanted to fit in and look cool.
– I am sorry I made you exercise in ways you didn’t even like.
– I am sorry I put you in situations you did not really want to be in.
– I am sorry I ignored your wise intuition and said “yes” when you clearly felt “no.”
– I am sorry I stayed silent when you nudged me to speak up, because I feared the disapproval and rejection of others.
– I am sorry I put countless cigarettes into your lungs because I didn’t yet know how to handle stress or pauses in the day.
– I am sorry I spent so much time criticizing you that I forgot to say thank you and acknowledge your amazing senses, systems, limbs and organs.
– I am sorry I thought my value as a human being was entirely dependent on you.
– Oh, and I am sorry about those leg warmers and shoulder pads in the ’80s!
Andrea Wachter.
Article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-wachter/a-body-apology_b_6343456.html
