Dating Magazine

Dating Etiquette 101: Exactly Who Pays

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

Dating Etiquette 101: Exactly Who Pays

This absolutely hilarious chart is courteous of thefrisky.com. I found this chart to not only be funny, but somewhat accurate. Mostly all the arrows point to the guy paying, but new tradition states that whoever ask does the paying. The traditional way of dating in which men actively chase women, is pretty much out the door these days. There are plenty of women who now ask men out and actively pursue men. This combined with the fact that we now have more people who are out in the open about their sexuality and preference heavily leaves tradition behind. I’m not what anyone would call traditional by any means, but I do have a combination of tradition and modern when it comes to dating.

I’m all for independent women and for women being able to hold their own, but in the dating world, I don’t believe women should ask men out. In fact, I won’t even ask a guy to dance in a club or make several phone calls without some type of contact first. It is my belief that men are naturally born hunters who like the thrill of the chase and someone who presents a challenge. I mean have you ever noticed how you’re really nice, sweet, and perky to a guy, and then he ends up with someone that appears to be a bitch on wheels. Even in same sex dating/relationships there’s always one who’s more aggressive than the other who does the pursuing. Frankly speaking, I like to be pursued, and no I don’t play hard to get, but I’m not necessarily easy either. I state my ground and stand firm on it, as well as my likes and dislikes.

When it comes to who pays for what, this is where I stand; If you ask someone out, you should be prepared to pay, but at the same time, the person who assumes the more dominant role should pay, especially if they plan on keeping you around. If someone asks you out, guess what? You should be prepared to pay, just in case. You’ve just had a wonderful meal, and when the bill comes, they pull out their phone and quickly calculate what you owe! You pull your money out of your purse while trying to remain cute and calm thinking “this SOB is actually making me pay”. My point, never expect anything from anybody; always be prepared! In my opinion, the best first date consist of meeting for a drink, taking a stroll, and having a nice conversation. In this day and age, no one has $100+dollars to spend on a date just to find out you’re not compatible; I’d rather buy me a nice purse. When someone asks you out, its improper etiquette to ask “uh, whose paying”, it’s best to go out and see what happens.

As a woman, I feel if I pay to take you out first, what does that mean? If I’m always doing the asking, that means I’m always doing the paying, especially if you never ask me to go anywhere. Does that mean I’m applying to be your sugar momma? Luckily, the people I’ve dated have always paid and that’s mainly because I don’t ask people out. If we’ve been on several dates and there’s something I want to do, I have no problem asking and paying, but the initial first date, not me! I’m sure some will disagree, but I’ve asked a few of my male friends and most of them said “No, I’m the man, I should ask and pay” some said “If I’m feeling her, I’ll pay”, and last but not least, one said “if she ask and she paying, I’ll go” So who pays for the date? You actually won’t know until that pivotal moment when your waiter or waitress sits that check on the table.

I would love to hear your thoughts, especially if you meet people in an online environment.

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