Dating Advice We Give Our Teenager

The Sonish is dating.  He's not exclusively dating but beginning to date around.  He'll be 16 soon, he's smart, good looking, and charming with a quick whit so dating shouldn't come as a surprise to any of us. I have been the lucky (and I mean that very sincerely) parent who he talks to about dating.  Many have asked what I say or what kind of advice I give to a teenage boy.  Here are a few of the things I've shared.  
1. Be the best version of yourselfEven though I think this kid is the greatest thing since buttered toast, there are still times he can be challenging.  We all can be.  So we do our best to impress upon him the importance of being his best self. Treat people respectfully and act like "you have the brain God gave you" (yes, I've begun saying the same things my parents said) is a common piece of advice we give.  We impress upon him that this holds true not only when you're asking someone out for the first time but also when you decide not to see them anymore.  Breaking up in tough but everyone deserves to be treated respectfully even when their heart is being broken.  
2. Stay away from crazyI remember one of the first conversations we had about a specific girl last year.  He told me a girl was interested in him and that she had recently been dating one of his buddies. His concern was that the girl "acted a little crazy" after the recent breakup and wanted to know if I thought she could do the same with him.  "YES!" was my immediate answer.  I couldn't get the answer out fast enough and quickly pointed out how smart he was for recognizing this behavior. Its important for young people to see the signs of this behavior and avoid being in relationships with people who demonstrate unstable behaviors.  Between the hormones, peer pressure, and all of the other challenges teens face its easy to fall for someone who pays attention to you and always wants to be with you.  However, obsessive or "crazy" behaviors are common among teens who are dating especially because their world views are typically narrow than that of adults.   Avoiding unstable relationships from the beginning will make dating much easier.
3. Only date people who are as good of a person as you are.The Sonish excels academically and is mostly attracted to girls that are as bright as he is but we encourage him to take it a step further.  We encourage him to build relationships with people who are kind, caring, and give back to their communities like he does.  Dating shouldn't be determined based on the neighborhood you come from or the color of your skin but rather who the person is at the core.  Sure she's pretty and smart but if she doesn't treat others well and isn't a good citizen in her community she wont make a very good girlfriend.
4. Be honestIt's hard to tell the truth when you're worried about being rejected or hurting someone's feelings by rejecting them but it doesn't change the importance of being honest.  He recently decided not to ask a girl out on a second date. Why? He simply wasn't that into her and didn't want to lead her on.  We couldn't be more proud.  Dating is an important part of life's education process and one that should be done with respect and honesty.  
5. Don't take sex lightlyWhether we want to admit it or not, more and more teens are having sex. We know he's going to make his own choices about when to have sex and who to have sex with. As we see it, our role is to make sure he knows the facts so that he can make the right choices.  We talk about sex, have honest conversations with him about his responsiblities in sexual relationships, and we talk about the consequences of choosing to have sex with the wrong person and for that matter, even the right one.  It's never an easy conversation and it requires patience on everyone's part to get through but if we expect him to take it seriously than we have to as well.