Dating Magazine

Dating 101: Fall in Love with You First

By Shauntee @shaunteebattie

Dating 101: Love You First loveyourself first

Yesterday, I posted on Twitter that it is absolutely ok to fall in love with yourself. Yes, it may sound vain or somewhat self indulgent, but loving you is a very important part of life. Loving you is the first step in having a successful dating and romantic life. It allows you to set boundaries and know what standards you set for yourself and the people in your life. How can you effectively love someone if you don’t love yourself first? Check out my five tips on how to love you first and maintain a happy life.

Live your life for you and not others

It often saddens me when I hear of people who are afraid to be themselves. I also feel that way about people who date and forget who they are. I am love biggest cheerleader, however, I feel a certain disdain for people who don’t know how to be with someone without bowing down to their every wish. Relationships are not meant to control your life and stop you from obtaining your dreams. They are meant to enhance your life and give you a cheerleader along the way.

Positive vibes

I love to surround myself with motivated like minded people; positive people who inspire and uplift. When you’re in the dating game, you need all the positivity you can get. You need people who will be happy about your happiness and not bitter. I have no tolerance for negative people weighing me down. I’m a plus size woman; I don’t need any more weight or any excess baggage.

Don’t take it personal

This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to learn about people and trust me, I am still a work in progress. When people are mean to me I would take it personally, when things didn’t work out on a date, I would take it personally. Here’s what I learned over the years, some people really don’t know any better. They were not raised to be polite or they simply don’t know how to say things without sounding rude as hell. Some people were not taught boundaries and what you can and cannot say. I no longer take these things as a personal attack on my character. I simply ignore it and keep it moving.

Encourage Yourself

I am lucky to have a strong support system in place. But there are times in our lives when we have to encourage our own self, dust our own self off, and pat our own self on the back. And don’t forget to encourage others.

If you don’t have any standards now may be a good time to get some

Everyone should have reasonable standards. When I say reasonable, I mean standards that are not geared towards vain and vanity. Everybody you meet doesn’t have to be rich or drive a Mercedes. That’s actually kind of stupid to make that a requirement. Anyway, having standards is not just a tool for dating people; it’s a tool for friendships as well. You shouldn’t have a bunch of standards for your romantic relationships and none for your personal friendships.

How you treat yourself dictates how others treat you. Fall in love with you first and then fall in love with someone else.

What are some of your tips for maintaining self love?

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