As a woman who’s been on many first dates, I’ve learned that some things you should keep to yourself. I’ve definitely had some TMI moments that left me thinking “uh I really didn’t need to know that!
Sometimes people share too much information too soon. You get kicked out the ball game before you even have a chance to bat. So here’s my top five of things you should not share during your first date
My kids are bad and I’m going to tell all their business
I understand that people with children love to brag on their kids and all their accomplishments. This is not a bad thing as long as your children are not the focus the entire date. However, you do not disclose your kids business if you know it’s not positive. I do not need to know that your child throws temper tantrums or that your 16 year old has been in juvenile detention 5 times already. Although I sympathize with you as a parent, I now know that these are issues I will have to deal with if we decide to continue dating.
Your home and work address
Often, when we talk to people on the phone we start to build some form of trust. When we meet someone and have a decent conversation, we assume that it’s ok to give out our address or our work information, but in reality it’s not. One date is not enough to determine someone’s mental state. The last thing anyone needs is someone popping up unannounced at your door step or job. Instinctively when people ask for this information, we think we may get flowers. We may get more than that if we’re not careful.
Your sob story misfortunes
Dates are suppose to be positive and full of lively conversation. The last thing I want to hear is all of the misfortunes you’ve had over the past 10 years, especially when it comes to your past relationships and your previous dating experience. When you continuously dwell on something that means you haven’t fully recovered; this translates to baggage. I also do not want to hear about every ailment you’ve had, all the unfortunate circumstances, and unsolved mysteries that have happened to you. By time the date is over, I end up relieved that I no longer have here it or that damn violin music that keeps playing in my ear……definitely a downer!
I’m richer than Oprah or so broke I can’t pay attention
I’ve had a long standing rule not to discuss personal financial matters during the first date. People have various perceptions; when someone starts grilling me about my finances, income, and whether I have a solid investment plan; it raises a red flag for me. Women will be perceived as gold-diggers and men will be perceived as users. I know that in the wake of this bad economy people do struggle to make ends meet. I don’t necessarily need to know your struggle or your financial obligations during the first date. However, this does become important should dating progress into something more.
Ain’t nothing going on but the rent
As we get older, I do understand that stability becomes a requirement in a mate. The first date is not the time for you to show your “ain’t nothing going on but the rent” personality. (Yes, I know “ain’t is not a word in the English language)We begin to tell our date that we’re looking for someone to pay our bills and help out with our weekly beauty expenses. A decent person will help you and has no problem doing nice things for you. After all, no one wants some shabby person on their arm. However, most people like to buy gifts and help out as a token of their affection not because they feel obligated.
These are my first date no no’s. Keep in mind there’s a difference between dating, serial dating, and serious dating. As things progress these no no’s then become something you may want to concern yourself with but for the first date keep the conversation light and fun. No need to worry about stability, children, and The Forbes List just yet.
What are your first date no no’s?
