He has more Oscars than you can shake a stick at and is an exponent of Conker Fung Du, the Cornish martial art that encompasses kickboxing and conkers. Daniel Day Lewis.
We caught up with DDL whilst he was lobbing a stick into his favorite horse chestnut tree to find a few conkers to take home, bake, soak in vinegar and allow to harden in the oven afterwards.
GFB; Daniel, thanks for sparing the time in your hectic schedule to speak to us.
DDL; (Holding a knotted shoe lace with a conker threaded onto it) Obbly Onker My First Conker!
GFB; Sorry?
DDL; Watch out, this bad boy is a Twelver!
GFB; Oh Right – can we talk about your new fi-
DDL; STAMPS! I win! Thirteener now!
GFB; Jeez that must a be a great conker Daniel. I only ever had a threeer and then Kevin Keating stamped on it.
DDL; This is the best conker I’ve ever had – It is the Olivier of Conkers. Not that Sir Larry wasn’t a great actor of course, nearly as good as me. All I’ll say is, “Look at the Oscars laddio - who is the Daddy now eh? eh?”
GFB; Fascinating Daniel, as we would expect from such a great thespian as you.
DDL; Natch.
GFB; Your new movie role
DDL; The Life Of Flann O’Brien?
GFB; Yes.
DDL; One of the greats of Irish Literature, proper absurdist and Metafictionist type - As you know I inhabit the character I portray at all times during the filmic process – Mind heads! (Daniel launches a shillelagh into the tree and is disappointed not to dislodge a conker)
DDL; Bastard!
GFB; Come again?
DDL; The conker – I can’t get it down.
GFB; Shame – I’m sure you will get it eventually.
DDL; Yes – I shall, failing all else I will blast the bastard out with me Last Of The Mohicans musket – dead eyed dick I was by the time filming was over – could shoot a fart from three miles.
GFB; Impressive, now about your fil -
DDL; Sorry, the film, yes, Flann O’Brien - I have worn this Flan on my head for three years to understand him a bit more.
GFB; Has it worked?
DDL; No. Flan only has one N and Flann had two N’s in it. The Fecker. If he had been Quiche O’Brien I would have been onto a winner – all I have gleaned is an appreciation for pastry based savoury snacks.
GFB; Thanks for you time Daniel.
DDL; Not at all. Fancy another game of conkers?
