Current Magazine

Customers Who Bought The Amazon Fire Also Bought Tumbleweed

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Yahoo Finance reports that Amazon announced today that it lost $170 million on its “Fire” smartphone, whatever that is. Amazon reportedly had $83 million of Fire phone inventory on hand at the end of the quarter.

3 Suggestions Of How Amazon Can Get Rid Of Its Excess Fire Phones

1. Glue a keyboard and the word “Blackberry” to it and some senior citizens who are intimidated by touchscreen might buy it.

2. Sell it in 12 packs at rival retailer Costco. Perfect for millennial jury members who don’t know how to talk to each other, and will text their debate of whether an accused is guilty, even though they’re sequestered in the same room.

3. Allow Amazon shareholders to trade their stock for an unlocked phone. Because unlike Amazon, at least you can turn off the phone and stop it from losing your money.


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog