Today i.e., 1st may 2013 is rather gloomy for Alicia (A school teacher in her 30’s and a relationship counselor) …she was lost in her thoughts while coming out of the graveyard when a voice echoed from behind.
Rachel: Alicia… I have been looking for you since morning where have you been?
Alicia: Ah…Rachel! I just paid a visit to Aaron…it’s been 3 years since he’s laid…certainly not a good day for me…what’s the matter with you young lady?
Rachel: I need few suggestions from you about my relationships…its going haywire. I really don’t know what shall I do.
Alicia: calm down Rachel…tell me your problem.
Rachel: you know I was seeing Philip for nearly 6 months…now I feel like it isn’t working anymore…I don’t feel like we could go on like this…moreover Jason (sudden Goosebumps appeared on her face) is really handsome…I want to enter into a relationship with him…but am strangled…i just cannot move on before closing on with Philip but this Philip is too good a person to be ditched.
Alicia: So you can’t decide between Philip and Jason?
Rachel: Not exactly…I want to end up with Philip…but I don’t want to hurt him…I was thinking of calling a friend of mine and tell her to ask Philip to forget me and move on…I just can’t tell this to him on his face.
Alicia: you know your problem is…you want to get rid of something…but you don’t want to loosen your grip.
Rachel: whatever…I am really confused.
Alicia: I really don’t see a point for leaving Philip…are you free let’s go for a movie…it will be the much needed break for me as well.
Rachel: but what shall I do?
Alicia: just be patient…let’s talk after the movie
Rachel: by the way what’s the name of the Movie.
Alicia: A romantic Bollywood movie –‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’
Rachel: Are you serious?
Alicia: I feel you would get your answers from that movie… Rachel: What?
Alicia: let’s discuss after the movie…let’s go.
After 3 hours.
Alicia: So…Tell me…how was it?
Rachel: This movie is totally insane…things like this can never happen…I cannot believe in that idiotic theme…does anybody wait for 10 years? Huh…total crap.
Alicia: you don’t believe a thing right? When I was your age… I was exactly like you…I know I would have reacted the same way as you did…but today I realize…how wrong I was.
Rachel: Please Alicia…this cannot happen for real…and moreover these Bollywood movies are for crazy people…I can’t stop laughing at their insanity a person cannot be so stupid to wait 10 years.
Alicia: Never laugh about or neglect the feelings you cannot understand about a
person…there are few sentiments you could understand only if you have gone
through yourself.
Rachel: you went through all these?
Alicia: Life is not a movie…and if I were the director of that movie I would surely change the climax…because life is not so gratifying…and in real life…what we lose is lost forever…
Rachel: It seems you have faced a lot of pain…if you don’t mind can you please share your story?
Alicia: I will tell you my story…and since you didn’t believe a thing about the movie…you couldn’t get your answers…you will surely get your answers after I end with my story.
Rachel: Did your man waited for 10 years?
Alicia: listen to the story and please don’t ask any questions in between…I will reply to all of your questions…once I finish.
Rachel: Alright Alicia.
Alicia: I was 19 then…and life was just a dream…I cared for nothing and lived life like a bird…did what I want to...it was that time I met Aaron. ..things were going on smooth between us but when I turned 21…I felt like I was bound… and I wanted to break free…Aaron was a good person but I felt as if I was chained cannot enjoy my life…on one morning I told Aaron that I don’t love him anymore. I felt as if my feelings for him just vanished…and I told these things right on his face.
Rachel: What happened after that?
Alicia: He didn’t take things as I felt he should …he left with a word –“I will love you as long as I breathe.”
Alicia: Aaron went away from the city and I forgot him soon… after a year or so I met Steve…he was full of life…I felt I have met my life and I went crazy for him. It was almost 5 years we were seeing each other but as Steve was a protestant and I came from catholic background naturally our families didn’t agree. We decided to elope. Steve was a marketing consultant so he had to visit places… on one such occasion he was out of the city …he had told me he would return in a day…but he didn’t contact for 4 days. I became restless and because the date we had scheduled came closer I eloped without informing anybody…it took almost 2 more days before I could contact him…but he had changed his ideas by then…he told me he cannot leave his parents…moreover his father is the head of the company where he is working…to run off and get married is not a matter of joke…there are many things required beside love to sustain a family… and he just cannot elope…moreover if he would run away…it would give a bad name to his family and their reputation.
Rachel: What happened next?
Alicia: I asked…then what about me? What about my family’s reputation? I left them for you…can’t you understand. But he wasn’t willing to listen…I tried to convince him…but he told me…I had become too possessive and he doesn’t want to continue their relationship like this he doesn’t have any feelings left for me…I cried …grumbled ...can anybody throw away someone like that…don’t have any feelings anymore? Do you know what he replied…why are taking this so seriously…you had left a person saying you don’t love him…similarly I don’t have any feelings for you anymore…that’s it.
Rachel: that’s really sad.I don't have words to soothe you. Alicia: That day I realized… I have committed not one but two very big mistakes in my life and I deserve all these sufferings
Rachel: Two?
Alicia: today I am telling you about a golden principle of a relationship… “When you are about to start a relationship…always think about yourself and when you want to break off from a relationship always think about your counterpart”
Rachel: I didn’t understand…
Alicia: All right…I would continue with my story you would understand it soon.
Alicia: I decided… since it was all my mistake …I should suffer and my parents shouldn’t get involved in this. I took a job in a local school and after few days I informed my parents that I am fine and they shouldn’t worry about me… they tried to meet me take me back to my home but I didn’t return.
I was much disheartened to meet any person whom I knew once…after nearly 2 years of working in the primary school… I felt, I should apologize Aaron and got the courage to meet him…I knew it won’t heal his wounds but at least I could lessen the burden off me. I tried searching for him…and when I finally came to know about his whereabouts… I came to know he died of a brain tumor a year ago…I went to meet his parents…they told me Aaron had already communicated that I would surely come, they weren’t surprised about my arrival… they also presented me a copy of the album of his last words which Aaron had recorded just 15 days before his death…which was specially for me.
Rachel: What was it about?
Alicia: Alicia reached for her iPod and handed over to Rachel …Rachel these were his last words…
“ Alicia you know it has been a long time since I saw you…and I might not see you again…but I love you…I love you more than I had ever loved you…you know all these years I never felt I am alone as I always lived with the memories when you first came to my life…i.e., I remembered how you cared for me…how much you loved me…you could understand me and my feelings…I became altogether a different person since I met you…my life was changed…I lived all my life thinking about what you did for me…I always thought about myself and I could never see anything wrong after you came to my life…I lived my life with no regrets …and my love increased with every passing day. Today… I don’t know how many days or hours do i have but you know I am feeling good about myself…you know why? because I am leaving you and your memories…and whenever one leaves one should think about his love… and when I am leaving this world I am happy that you don’t have to see my pain…you don’t have to bear all this into your life…you don’t have to think about me…and my loss…I am happy I am leaving this way…I wouldn’t be able see tears in your eyes…Alicia I am unable to speak more… last few words Love you as I always did”
Rachel: Almost in tears…I could feel how you must have felt…but I couldn’t understand few things.
Alicia: I know it…let me explain… what’s the first thing you think before entering into a relationship?
Rachel: about the person …his looks, his personality…and things like that
Alicia: that’s the mistake we all do…yes you cannot blindly chose a person to get into a relationship but the first thing that you must look into while moving into a relationship is about you…you should think about will that person love you, will he care for you…will it change your life in a positive way…most importantly will you be happy.
when you are in a relationship you should always think about us…we and together…whatever decisions you take…whatever you do…do them thinking about both of you.
And when you want to break off from a relationship always think about your counterpart more than yourself…will this affect him…will it be good for him…or it won’t matter anything to him…Now it’s time I should tell you about the two Mistake I committed
1) when I left Aaron I thought about myself and not him…I felt I don’t have feelings anymore and I left him…I never thought about him.
2) The second mistake which I committed was when entering into a relationship with Steve…I always thought about him…I was crazy about him…I wasn’t thinking about me…and that’s why I left my house and I had to suffer.
And that’s the reason why Aaron lived his life happily…he did exactly…what I didn’t do…
he lived his life thinking about his life when I entered his life and was happy…Since we were never together he didn’t have to think about us and when he left this world he thought about me and therefore…his soul rests in peace.
Alicia: I am sure you have got the answers Rachel…apply those principle into your life as well…you will be relived of all your troubles…in this way you will never get into any awkward situations as when starting a relationship you will think about yourself and you would accept only that person who cares for you the best…so no question of mingling with a wrong person and when you are thinking of leaving a person think about the person whom you are about to leave…if it doesn’t matter to him…you are leaving for good but if it does mean a lot…you now know which relations you should hold onto.
Rachel: Thanks a lot Alicia…I don’t have words to thank you and am really sorry…I had to bring those memories back for you.
Alicia: Rachel you are forgetting it’s been 3 years…since Aaron left this world and it ‘s a part of the suffering I have to go through as my punishment…truly speaking am still trying to learn his principles…hope one day I would master these and then it won’t matter to me anymore.
The most important aspect of a person’s life is these relationships and how people handle them…it’s always better to save a relationship then to get over it as things once lost are lost forever and to build and maintain a relation takes years and therefore I should repeat the golden words once again…
“When you are about to start a relationship…always think about yourself and when you want to break off from a relationship always think about your counterpart.”
it’s what I believe it’s always better to save (Ctrl+S) over permanently remove (Shift+Delete) a relationship…and this post of mine is what I preach…and I would end up with another quotation from this post so that readers may not miss this important message from the post–
“Never laugh about or neglect the feelings you cannot understand about a person…there are few sentiments you could understand only if you have gone through yourself …!!!”
