Aren’t garage rock bands supposed to be over? I’m honestly a little confused right now. The Orwells, The Men, Parquet Courts– and now, Criminal Hygiene– are just a few of the young, uber-cool rock bands ready to party like it’s 2003. A lot has changed in the past decade, but apparently, all that’s old is new again. Not that I’m complaining. 
To me, garage rock is still the genre that feels like it could change the world. And, if that’s true, then Criminal Hygiene are single-handedly changing the world of garage rock. This Los Angeles trio differentiate themselves from the aforementioned bands on their full-length debut, CRMNL HYGNE. The album’s seventeen tracks are an addictive collection of emphatic guitars, masterfully crafted layers of reverb and fuzz, and moments that range from the silly (“Get an Education!”) to the sublime (“Rearrange Me”). CRMNL HYGNE is full of surprises, if only because it insists on being everything you think it’s not.
At first thought, seventeen tracks could seem quite overwhelming, but CRMNL HYGNE actually clocks in at just under 45 minutes. Regardless, it takes practically no time at all to realize that each song is its own miniature rock n’ roll masterpiece. “Dirty Knees,” is a perfect “fuck you” punk song if I’ve ever heard one, with lyrics that warn, “Tear my clothes and rip my hair/Yeah, I’ll never care, I’ll never care.” Not to mention that it all begins with a giant scream of “Let’s fucking do this!” Badass, indeed, my friends.
Among the many standout tracks is the semi-sweet love ballad “Beneath the Flame,” which is sort of what “Something” might have sounded like if George Harrison had been really fucking angry (and/or drunk) around the time he wrote it. Also worth noting are jaunty first single “Blak Water,” the super fast and oh-so-frantic “Fine!,” and the positively enchanting “Full Lunar Eclipse.” The latter is melodic and pure in the vein of 70s rock jams, but filled to the brim with tension. I swear to God, I almost air guitar-ed while listening– almost. Don’t worry, I stopped myself just in time.
Simple garage rock it’s not, but that’s the utter brilliance of CRYMNL HYGNE. It’s the work of a band that knows its shit– from 90s grunge primal to kitschy, classic rock playful and everything inbetween– and doesn’t need anyone’s permission.
4 / 5 bars
