What a paradox – we often lie but we value honesty in our children. During a week, we tell many lies. Around 11 untruths per week are told by Americans! We tell lies to make a story more interesting, or we may want to avoid conflicts and hurt feelings.
But how do you prevent a child from telling lies?
What does not lying mean?
- Do you avoid sharing some truths?
- Do you leave out certain facts?
- Do you try to be creative with the truth?
Anita Kelly studied the relationship between health and the number of lies a person told. She found that it is possible to cut the everyday lies and that this may be linked to improved health. Half the participants were told to stop telling major and minor lies for ten weeks. After around five weeks the participants that were asked to tell less lies began to describe themselves as more hones and they felt less tense or melancholic, and had fewer physical complaints such as headaches.
The participants in the group that was told not to lie found it difficult to stop fibbing. You have consciously to think of what you are saying. But also be creative and use new ways of expressing yourself.
I read this example and thought there must be a more creative way.
Instead of saying to a child “Your clothes do not match”, you could say, “I loved the clothes you wore yesterday.”
Yet if you think about it, you might find something positive about the clothes she is wearing now. This may challenge yourself but you will end up saying something more fruitful. To be honest, we do not really want to be told that the clothes we wore yesterday looked better. We want to know what is good about the clothes we are wearing today. Maybe the colours makes the skin looks radiant. Maybe the fabric. . .
Challenge yourself and your child to search for positive as well as interesting aspects. This is a great way of avoiding to lie. Also it is a useful way to explore all sorts of ideas and suggestions. A creative search for ways to improve and made the idea or suggestion better.
Photo “Boy And Girl Smiling” by Ambro
