Family Magazine

Comparing Yourself to Others Is Destructive

By Therealsupermum @TheRealSupermum

why compare Comparing Yourself to Others Is Destructive

It’s human nature to do it, yet comparing yourself to others, something we learn to do from a young age, is a destructive habit.

I remember as a little girl I had a friend who had everything in my eyes, her bedroom was fit for a princess and she had every Barbie doll and accessory there was ever made by Mattel. While I had a few Barbie’s, my small collection was nothing in comparison to hers.

Going to her house to play was an adventure; I preferred to go to hers than have her come to mine. My bedroom, while nicely decorated just looked so drab compared to hers and yes I was jealous of her. Comparing yourself to others who appear to have everything will always make you feel bad.

This particular friend had the prettiest of dresses and her hair was always perfectly tied in girly bows, she made me feel like an ugly frog.

She knew she was better than me as I always allowed her to make the decisions of what we would play and which of her toys I could play with.

My low self-confidence made me a prime target for bullies too.

When you are too busy comparing yourself to others you lose sight of who you really are and overlook all the great qualities.

I still find myself doing it at times when in the company of other mothers.

Why can’t my child be as well behaved as hers?

Why can’t I afford the designer clothes she wears?

Why can’t I drive a sports car like her?

Why can’t I be as popular as her?

Why is my life so crap compared to hers?

Why is their life so perfect when everything I do is wrong or fails?

Learning how to overcome perfectionism has been a great turning point for me. I am now able to accept that nobody is perfect, no matter how much they try to dress it up. We all have stresses and problems, some are just better at covering it up.

Society would have us think that we must all dress and look a certain way; there is far too much judgement and expectations from the media. Comparing yourself to celebrities is a disaster waiting to happen.  We would all look amazing if we had a stylist and make-up artist waiting for us each morning.

We see celebrity mothers making motherhood look like a breeze, they look amazing with their toned tummies and there is not a stretch mark in sight. They don’t have black bags under their eyes and their children are always perfectly turned out.

What we don’t see is what happens behind closed doors, we see them after they have spent hours in the boutique or spa. The majority also have nannies and staff working for them. This false perception makes us feel failures.

Comparing yourself to others is a destructive habit that you need to learn to break. The biggest challenge in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.

Is comparing yourself to others a nasty habit you have?

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