CNN Reports New House Of Cards Season Reviews In

House of Cards’ latest season began streaming on Netflix at midnight today… which lead to CNN running the following headline:

“House of Cards’ season 4: The reviews are in”

Since we are about helping news networks, here are:

3 Alternate Headlines We Propose For This News Story

1. “Some entertainment reporter really enjoyed binge-watching TV from midnight to 1 pm and then writing a review within 4.5 hours!”
2. “House of Cards: The Spoilers Are Already In! Hey, our parent company is HBO-owner, Time-Warner, not Netflix, so we don’t care if we spoil this.”
3. “Whatever happens on this show, it is a foregone disappointment because writers could never possibly dream up the real-life insanity that is the current U.S. election.”