CNN Headline: “Squirrel Drops Off Endangered List”

CNN ran this headline today. We didn’t bother reading the story, however, here are 3 items we imagine are on the squirrel’s endangered list:

1. Acorns. (someone ought to let squirrels know how common those things are so they stop storing them.)
2. People polled willing to say they’ll vote for Ben Carson.
3. Real humans on Twitter that don’t have something to promote.